Wings of Freedom, Wings of Love
by Lilly Manchester
Summary: Hanji Zoe and Levi Ackerman have had a nice married life with their one daughter... Until all hell breaks loose. This is the story of Lilly Zoe-Ackerman and her adventures with the Trio, as well as her own adventures in the Scouts. Cover image not mine.
1. 1: Prologue

**Shiganshina District, Wall Maria, Year 842**

"Bitch!"

The small raven-haired girl receives another sharp kick to the ribs, causing a small cry if pain to tear itself from her lips. She jerked slightly against the two pairs of hands holding her still, while a boy "punished" her for the wrongdoings of her parents and their regiment.

"Your parents are the reason that my mother left, why my dad isn't happy! It's because they have to waste taxes on you lot!"

A knee hit the girl right in the jaw, but she didn't react. Papa always told her not to react. Don't give them fuel... only it felt like her silence made things worse. She finally gives out a cry, a loud, pitiful cry of pain as the boy breaks one of her ribs. That draws out a smirk from the boy, and he delivers a blow to the other side, trying to break another without trying to kill her.

" _Papa!_ " The girl screams out, knowing that it's very unlikely that anyone will hear her. " _Mama! Papa!_ " She screams again as she feels her rib crack.

††††††††††††

Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman and his wife Hanji Zoe left their small house in Shiganshina, given to them by their good friend and Commander Erwin Smith as a wedding gift. The house was perfect for them and their daughter Lilly. It was close to the main street where the Scout Regiment entered the city after an expedition, giving the couple easy access to and from missions.

They were dressed in civilian clothes, knowing the population didn't exactly support the Scouts. Levi wore a white, button down shirt with a cravat, Hanji just a yellow button down. The pair walked hand in hand down a back street, out of sight. They froze as they heard a familiar voice: " _Mama! Papa!_ ". Levi and Hanji exchange a glance, the fore having to look up to meet the eyes of the latter, before they sprint towards the source. What they see halts them in their tracks with shock.

Lilly Zoe-Ackerman, the daughter of two of the highest ranked people of the Scout Regiment, was held between two boys not much older than her, her face bloody, her nose crooked, and her top stained with blood. One of her bright, normally curious brown eyes was swollen shut.

Levi didn't even hesitate before he was a blur rushing towards the boy standing before Lilly, his fist stained with her blood. Levi's stormy grey eyes, normally void of emotion, were blazing with pure rage. He delivered a kick to the boy's gut, causing him to sink to his knees. The next kick was at the boy's face, knocking out a tooth. Levi went to kick him again when Hanji stops him.

"Levi!" Hanji pulled Levi to meet her brown eyes, the fire in his becoming a smolder. He looked to the boy, at his bloodied face, and delivered one last kick to it before he went to his daughter, the two holding her having fled. He knelt and checked her over, quickly assessing the damage. He sighed heavily.

"She needs a doctor." Levi cursed. "I think I heard people say Doctor Jaeger is a good one..." He tenderly picked up Lilly and started running to the doctor's house, Hanji following easily. They arrived at the house after a while, having to ask for directions twice.

††††††††††††

Grisha Jaeger, his wife Carla, and his seven-year-old son Eren were just about to enjoy dinner when a knock sounded at the door. The long-haired, bespectacled man stood and answered the door. He was surprised to find two people bearing the Wings of Freedom standing on his doorstep, the short man holding a bruised and battered girl.

"Doctor Jaeger we need your help." The man sounded worried and like he hated asking for help with anything.

Doctor Jaeger took the girl, and set her on a small couch and began looking her over. She was conscious, but just barely. "Will you two-" He looked to the two Scout members, but they were gone, no trace of them left.

The aged man sighed and looked to his son. "Eren, get some bandages and some medicine. She needs to be treated immediately."

 _Eren..._ Lilly thought blearily as consciousness slipped from her, _what a nice name..._

 **So that was my first chapter of my first story. I hope you enjoyed it. This is just the intro, and more will be coming. I own no characters save Lilly Zoe-Ackerman, nor do I own Attack on Titan.**


	2. 2: We Are Such a Frail Race

**Shiganshina District, Wall Maria, Year 845**

Three years passed since that day. In that three years Levi taught his daughter all he knew about hand-to-hand, better at it than Hanji. Levi even allowed her to venture outside the walls, (protected by the Scouts, of course) and Lilly had successfully made three solo kills by the age of thirteen. She had all of her parents skills at slaying Titans, and her mother's enthusiasm to learn about them and the world. Levi had passed down his cold demeanor when Lilly was angry, his strength, and his height. Lilly was much shorter than her handful of friends.

Lilly had also developed a close friendship with Doctor Jaeger's boy Eren. They shared a passion for what's outside the walls, fueled by Eren's friend Armin, and they both listened in complete awe whenever she told them of her parents' expeditions outside the walls with the Scouts.

She often told them of Uncle Erwin and what he did, of all his plans. This often bored Eren, but had Armin enraptured. She told Armin everything her parents let her tell, and Hanji soon came to enjoy the company of both young minds. Levi seemed like he couldn't have cared less, but Lilly knew he was happy she had "found other brats to waste time with".

 _But on that day, humanity received a grim reminder..._

††††††††††††

Lilly sat in the grass, looking up at the clouds, as Eren and his adopted sister Mikasa collected firewood. Eren, however, was napping under a tree, but Mikasa was gathering wood dutifully, the red scarf always around her neck. Lilly was carefully making a flower crown for Mrs. Jaeger, as per usual when she went outside Shiganshina with these two.

Occasionally she glanced at Mikasa as her deft fingers wove pink, red, and yellow wild flowers together. She didn't like the half-Oriental girl that much. She was oddly protective of Eren, and had begun a rift in Lilly's friendship with him. Lilly hated making Eren feel like he had to choose between her or his sister, so she usually let Mikasa win.

Lilly jumped about a foot in the air when Eren woke with gasp, her startled hands nearly crushing her recently-completed flower crown. She and Mikasa both looked at him.

"Are you alright?" Lilly knelt beside Eren, worry in her bright brown eyes. She hastily pushed up the glasses that were slipping down her nose. She inherited her mother's eyesight in addition to her eye color.

"Yeah... It's just that my dream felt really long..." Eren frowned slightly, his odd amber eyes slightly troubled and clouded from sleep... and glistening with tears.

"Eren... Why are you crying?" Mikasa asked in a flat tone. That girl rarely showed emotion and it bothered Lilly like none other.

"Wha…?" Eren raised a hand and wiped away the tears, but more came. "I-I'm not crying! I have no reason to be!" He frantically wiped the tears away until no more came.

"Shh…" Lilly took Eren's free hand. "It could just be from the dream. That happens to me sometimes. Bad dreams can make you cry." She gave a reassuring smile.

 _I wonder how bad his was to make him cry without even realizing it... And how he woke implies that it was pretty bad..._ Lilly thought as she helped Eren stand, handing him his pack of firewood. My dreams are always Mama and Papa not coming home, Uncle Erwin on the doorstep…

She's jolted out of her reverie as Mikasa not-so-gently nudged the smaller girl aside so she could walk between Eren and Lilly. Lilly said nothing, but an offended look passed over her face. She ignored the siblings as she looked up at the massive wall before them. Fifty meters tall, they were surely safe behind them from the Titans that devoured mankind for sport.

I never get tired of seeing this... Lilly looked at the ceiling of the wall as she enters it, imagining it to be a canopy of trees.

"Hey, why is who crying?" Lilly flinched at the sudden sound of Hannes's voice, the blonde Garrison member walking up to the trio.

"No one... Eugh, your breath smells like alcohol." Eren made a face. "You shouldn't be drinking when the Titans could come in at any minute!"

"Whoa, kid, the Titans haven't been an issue for 100 years," Hannes shook his head.

"But you never know when they can come back! You have to be ready at all times!" Eren was getting mad, which was usual for the young boy. "You have to fight, you drunk!"

"Hey, I'd rather be called a drunk than up and fighting." Hannes sighed, looking to the sky.

"You should still be careful! You never know when they could break in!" Eren repeated, since that seemed to be his only argument.

"Ooooooo, maybe the kid needs a drink himself!" One of the other Garrison members laughed, and held up a bottle of wine.

"Look Eren," Hannes looked like he was unsure how to continue, "you don't understand. Being at peace means all is well. If I'm fighting, then that means that our lives just got fucked up."

"But you have to be ready to fight the Titans if-" Eren began

"Shut up!" Lilly snapped, her frustration just bursting from her. "You keep talking like you know the walls will fail. You don't, so quit saying it. And you keep telling Mr. Hannes to be ready to fight, when you haven't even seen what a damn Titan is like in the first fucking place! You have no fucking idea how horrible they are!" Lilly was shaking like a leaf with fury.

"Wait wait wait... You've seen the Titans? Been outside the Walls?" Eren's amber eyes darted to her, shock and awe in them.

Lilly bit her lip, realizing she said too much. _Well, there's no turning back now._

"Y-yes, I have," Lilly nodded slightly, "about four times... I've solo killed 3 Titans. But not without my parents there for protection." She added swiftly, seeing the look in Eren's eyes. "It's a complete bloodbath."

"That doesn't change the fact that you've been outside! Why didn't you tell us before?" Eren asked, Hannes forgotten.

"For this reason. Come on, let's go." Lilly began heading to the main road, today being a day when the Scouts would ride through to get home... She hated the sight of it, but she always went to find her parents and Uncle Erwin.

"Right! The Scouts are coming!" Eren started running to the road, Mikasa right behind him, silent as always.

Lilly followed the siblings, standing beside them, trying to see over the crowds. The first member she saw was Uncle Erwin. She saw him take notice of Eren's hopeful face, then turn his head in what looked like disappointment and shame. Lilly's heart broke at the sight, her eyes scanning the carnage before them.

Many of the members, too many, were injured, held up by comrades, or pulled along in carts. Lilly closed her eyes, the scent of blood and death assailing her nostrils. She felt her stomach twist and turn, nausea starting to rise. She pushed it down and opened her eyes hesitantly.

"Excuse me, have you seen my son Moses?" An elderly woman goes up to a Scout member, and Lilly knew what the answer was before the man even gave it.

"Give it to her." The man ordered a subordinate beside him, who gave the woman a thinly wrapped something. She unwrapped it, only to find a severed arm. She began crying and wailing, a sound that broke Lilly's heart even more.

 _We are such a frail race... Death scares and breaks us more than any other beast and creature that lives_. Lilly glanced at the other members, the ones with missing limbs, blood seeping under bandages, and the ones who didn't make it, wrapped in large tan pieces of cloth.

She feared that cloth, knowing one day she may open one and find her parents beneath. She may find her mother's normally bright eyes empty, an enraptured smile forever plastered on her face as her life's work kills her. Or her father's grey eyes, normally bored with everything, staring out at the world he so hated without that glow she knew from whenever he came home.

"Lilly?" Eren shook her shoulder gently, amber eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." His voice was nearly silent, hard to hear over the wails of the woman and the declaration of failure by the Scout member.

"I... I'm fine, Eren. Just thinking dark thoughts." Lilly put a hand over his, causing Mikasa to glare at her, the dark eyes filled with something akin to a mix of hate and jealousy.

 _Look at them, wasting our tax money._ The whispers began as such, a normal occurrence. Lilly clenched her fists, knowing more would come.

 _There's our taxes, going out to die. What a waste._

 _Why not give our money to something useful?_

 _Give it to the Garrison, to the Military Police! At least they protect us!_

Eren hit a man who joined in this whispers with a stick, anger in his eyes, making the amber burn like fire. "Shut up!"

"Watch it, kid!" The man turned to Eren, ready to beat the shit out of him, only to be hit with a stick again.

"How dare you say that?! These people are heroes! At least they have the courage to go out of the walls!" Eren snapped, stick raised again. But before he could get beaten, Mikasa grabbed his arm and dragged him away quickly. Lilly slipped behind them, heart heavy. She didn't see her parents before her friends left...

"Ow! What was that for?" Eren picked himself off the ground. Lilly assumed Mikasa put him there in the first place.

"You need to be more careful," Mikasa said in her emotionless, flat voice that was normal for her.

"Don't tell me that! I'm gonna join the Scouts, and that's final!" Eren began picking up the fallen wood.

Lilly had to bite her tongue to keep from calling Eren a fucking dumbass. How the hell could he still want to join after seeing that parade of death? He must be fucking insane! She looked up at the sky, at the magnificent blue.

"Don't tell mom, okay?" She heard Eren plead to Mikasa, which caused the raven-haired girl to roll her eyes.

 _Mama's boy..._ Lilly thought wistfully. _Must be nice to have a mother who's actually around... Tch, I've done just fucking fine on my own, thank you very much._ She looked at the flower crown, which was miraculously still undamaged, in her hands.

"Fine, let's just get home." Mikasa started heading that way, Eren catching up by jogging for a moment. Lilly followed at a slower pace, not wanting to be by the half-Oriental girl. She knew if she was, she'd just be torrented by hateful, jealous glares, and Lilly didn't feel like putting up with that shit today.

Lilly smiled softly as they approached the Jaeger household. She loved coming here. It was a nice refuge from the loneliness that plagued her at home. At least until Miss Ackerman (she hated that they shared a surname) came and ruined everything. Now Lilly could barely even look at Eren without being mentally stabbed by Mikasa. She hated it… hated the change the half-Oriental girl had caused.

"There you are!" Mrs. Jaeger looked very relieved when the kids arrived. "Oh Lilly!" She blushed slightly as she was presented with the flower crown. "It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." Lilly shifted her feet a bit awkwardly. She didn't take compliments very well, since she didn't get them often.

"Of course I like it. You're such a dear for making me one." Mrs. Jaeger ruffled Lilly's hair slightly, which made the girl blush worse.

"Thanks... I didn't get a chance to see if my parents rode in today... A crazy brunet distracted me." Lilly gave Eren a fake glare, who stuck his tongue out in return.

"Oh, did you get all this yourself?" Mrs. Jaeger said as Eren dumped firewood into a little box.

"Yeah." Eren looked up to his mother with his amber eyes, not noticing his ears turned scarlet.

"You're lying." Mrs. Jaeger pulled one of his ears playfully. "Mikasa helped you didn't she?"

"Yeah…" Eren confessed, before sitting at the table. Lilly instantly felt very awkward.

"Oh, um, I should go..." Lilly turned to leave. She knew she was welcome, but she didn't like intruding on meals. She had a few things at home that she could put together…

Besides, she wanted to be home to greet her parents.

"Oh, no, I insist that you stay," Mrs. Jaeger pulls out a chair for her. "It's not good for a kid your age to be alone all the time."

Lilly smiled gently, then sighed softly. She hated it, but she would have to say no to that tender smile Mrs. Jaeger gave… one she had noticed Eren inherited. "Thank you, but I want to go home. I don't know when my parents come back, and I want to be there when they do." Lilly explained everything in a rush, her voice incredibly apologetic.

"Oh, I understand." Mrs. Jaeger pushed the chair in and then gave her a quick hug. "Just remember; if anything every happens to them, you'll be more than welcome at our home," she says in Lilly's ear.

Lilly couldn't help but smile and hug back. Mrs. Jaeger said this every time the Scouts left or came back and she didn't get the chance to see her parents.

"Thanks." Lilly pulled away, then left with a swish of the raven hair her father had passed down.

Lilly knew it would be a while before her parents came home, so she let her feet take her where they will. She knew most of the back ways of Shiganshina, having had to travel down them to escape pursuers or bullies.

It wasn't long until her stomach gave a mighty grumble, so she slipped home and grabbed some of the small amount of food that was there. On a whim, and since it would seem like fun, she strapped on all of the belts and buckles soldiers wear, before attaching the gear used for 3D maneuvering. She kept the blades in the sheaths, but just removed them from the handles.

"Well, I think I'm ready." She closed the door and took off, having learned how to save gas. She swung down the back streets, feeling free as a bird. She was very careful not to go to any largely populated areas. Didn't need the MP called on her.

 _This feeling is so amazing... I miss it when I walk around._ Lilly inwardly sighed, then her keen ears, used to picking up the faraway sounds of the Titans outside the walls, picked up sounds of a fight. It seemed a bit of an odd skill, but Hanji asked for her to help with research, monitoring Titan "calls".

Lilly immediately turned and ran on the rooftops toward the sound, but slowed when she saw a familiar brunet and half-Oriental girl dash toward the three boys who were picking on a familiar blond.

"Haha! One look at me and they ran!" Eren cheered as he stopped by Armin. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine." Armin looked at Mikasa. "And they ran because they saw Mikasa, not you." He gently ribbed Eren.

"What the hell?" Eren glared at Armin, just as Mikasa arrived.

"You're unhurt?" Lilly dropped down from the roof easily, unable to help herself and fussed over Armin, a little Hanji-like in the way she checked him over. When her parents were home, Armin usually retreated there after the bullies picked on him. At Lilly's house, he could forget the bullies and be lost in science and research and maps of the outside.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where...? What is that?" Armin pointed to the 3D Maneuver Gear.

"Oh, I, uh, stopped by home and picked them up." Lilly looked awkward. "I was bored."

"By the Walls it's real 3DMG!" Eren knelt and checked out the gear, before Mikasa hauled him to his feet with a reprimanding look.

"Yeah, don't drool all over it. This shit's expensive." Lilly teased, brushing off the sheath where Eren breathed on.

"Oh let me try it?" Eren was begging. "Pleeeeeeeease?"

"Fuck no. Anyway, what got you to leave your house in up such a hurry?" Lilly put the hilts of the blades into their little holsters at her waist. She was eager to change the subject from her technically illegal gear in this setting.

"I fought with Mom. She won't let me join the Scouts." Eren crossed his arms and looked at the ground, moving towards the river. The sight of the water always seemed to calm him down, Lilly noticed.

"Well, it's dangerous out there..." Armin countered, knowing he would just disappoint his friends by saying so.

"I know that, but Armin, you and your books made me long for a world outside of this cage we call home." Eren looked to Armin. "I wish for an adventure too."

"I know... The walls have held up for over a hundred years, Eren. As much as I'd like to join you on that adventure, I don't think it'll happen." Armin gave a sad smile.

All of a sudden, the sky flared yellow, as if with lightning. But the sky was a bright azure, not a storm cloud in the sky. The earth shook as if by an earthquake, causing the four kids to stumble.

"What the hell was that?" Lilly exclaimed once it was over.

"Look! It seemed to come from that way!" Armin pointed to the square, and the kids ran in that direction. When Lilly arrived, she saw terrified gazes of the other Shiganshians directed towards the heavens. When her eyes met what they were looking at, she slid to a stop in complete and utter shock.

The wall, Wall Maria, unbreachable and untouched by Titans for one hundred years was illuminated in the sunlight.

And there was a colossal Titan standing behind it, one scarlet hand cracking the stone beneath its grip.

 **Again, I do not own Attack on Titan or any characters besides Lilly. Thanks for reading!**


	3. 3: Flower Crowns and Meltdowns

**Shiganshina District, Wall Maria, Year 845**

 _And there was a colossal Titan standing behind it, one scarlet hand cracking the stone beneath its grip._

No one moved. No one even dared to breathe. There was a heavy silence, then the sound of cracking stone and hissing steam rent the silence asunder. A massive, fleshless head rose above the wall.

 _Oh my god... Oh my fucking God..._ Lilly couldn't move, could barely think. Her eyes were glued to the monstrosity, and no one could have predicted what happened next.

There was a terrible crash, and a great rush of wind as rubble flew into the air. The colossal Titan had kicked the unbreachable, unconquerable, indestructible Wall Maria in. The flying rubble crashed around them, some pieces smashing tiny humans into the ground, a splatter of blood the only thing left of them.

Panic, sheer, uncontrollable panic broke out. Screams split the air, and people began running as the Titans began trickling into the city. Armin grabbed Lilly's arm and began to tug her away to safer areas, but she had more pressing matters.

"I'll be back!" Lilly gave the blond an unsure smile as she took off, the gears of the 3DMG whirring.

She went straight for the closest Titan, drawing the blade out of the sheath and making a perfect cut to the nape, causing it to fall. She released a pent up breath and did a backflip in the air to avoid a small archway in the street. Her mother taught her that in battle, she needed to use as little gas as possible, to use her momentum to her advantage. So she did, her light weight just enough for her to latch onto a Titan and slay it without any gas.

She saw the hand a moment before it grabbed her, so she braced herself as a Titan snatched her from the air. Lilly cried out as she felt a pain in her left side, hip, and arm, but a moment later she cut herself free. She had a second to check for injuries, luckily finding none. Her next dodge of the Titan confirmed that no harm came to her 3DMG either. She thanked the Walls for that fact. The Titan was soon taken care of.

 _Dammit, why didn't the Scouts come back later than they had? At least then Mama and Papa wouldn't be all the way in Trost!_ Lilly thought bitterly as she flipped over another grabbing hand and cut the nape from a Titan, a plume of blood spouting up. She hated the heat and the filthiness of the blood, but it only lasted a few moments, so she easily forgot about it.

Lilly landed on a rooftop and surveyed the city, making sure to hide from the Titans' lines of sight. She was tired and needed a break. This was her first time slaying Titans by herself. She had always been surrounded by trained Scouts before, but she was slightly surprised at her skill. Her parents had given her her capability and talent for slaying Titans, it seemed.

"This is hopeless..." Lilly sighed, then her eyes jerked open as she heard a familiar voice screaming something. She couldn't make out the words, but that voice...

Lilly took off toward the Jaeger's house, only to meet a sight she would have nightmares about for years to come.

A Titan brought the teeth of its creepy grin down on someone in a pale yellow dress, blood flying into the air like cherry blossoms in the wind. And as Lilly watched through teary eyes, she noticed a bloodied flower crown lying on the blood soaked cobblestone and wreckage of the Jaeger house.

Lilly snapped. Later she would claim she couldn't remember what had happened, save Eren saw everything.

The boy was facing backwards, forced to watch as his mother was eaten, then at the onslaught Lilly made. He winced at the agonizing, sorrow and rage-filled scream that tore itself from Lilly's lips. Then she attached to its arm, slashing it deeply, blood spraying into the air, soon followed by steam. Lilly wanted to repay the Titan in all the pain she herself felt to the mother-like figure for her.

She next slashed at the thigh, then forearm, then shoulder. On its shoulder, she flipped a blade back in one hand like she had seen her father do. Then the rush began.

Eren would later describe it as a blur of steel and blood. Lilly was lightning fast, her small build letting her travel quickly, and her grip on the gear let her spin easily, dealing more damage with less effort and faster. In mere moments, the Titan's calves, arms, ankles, torso, and eyes were shredded. All the while Lilly was giving a painful wail with each attack. Finally, with blood spewing from each cut profusely, she gave a deep spinning slash right to the nape, nearly decapitating it.

Lilly collapsed to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks, beside the flower crown. She didn't even notice the blood seeping into her pants. She had failed. She hadn't come fast enough. She could have saved her! She had gear! She could have-

The thudding footsteps of another Titan brought her back, and this one she killed by slashing at its feet before going for the nape, disabling it first. She didn't really feel anything anymore... All she knew was that Carla Jaeger, mother to Lilly when her's was gone, was dead, and Lilly had had the means to save her. Everything else was hollow.

After the Titan had been taken care of, she started following Mr. Hannes, who was carrying Mikasa and Eren to safer territory. She landed lightly when they stopped. Her numb brain barely registered their fight, save it registered when Hannes said he had been to weak to do anything.

 _You poor fucking excuse for a man..._ Lilly's mind thought bitterly, angry yet empty. _You couldn't swallow your fear to fight a Titan, to slay one fucking Titan. You let her die..._ I _let her die... I wasn't fast enough. If I hadn't taken that break, I would have made it..._

Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because she felt arms wrap around her in a hug that she hasn't had in years. She hugged Eren tightly, unable to keep the tears from flowing. She held onto him and sobbed into his chest. And much to Lilly's subconscious surprise, Mikasa didn't do anything, mourning the death of Carla Jaeger herself. A temoprary truce under the shadow of tragedy.

Eren knew how much his mother had done for Lilly. Her parents were rarely in Shiganshina and when they were it was only for a couple days at most. The Scouts didn't get vacations, and he had seen the toll that took on Lilly. He had seen her smile falter slightly whenever the Scouts or her parents were mentioned. He had held her while she cried out of fear and loneliness. And he knew how much Lilly had relied on his mother for someone she could look up to, to talk to whenever she had some more private questions. Eren had no doubt that his mother, Carla Jaeger, had been more of a mother for Lilly in the past three years than Hanji Zoe had been in ten. Not that he blamed them. They were busy people, but he held a bitterness in his heart for the pair.

"I... I'm okay now..." Lilly's small voice, shaking and a little hoarse from the sobs, pulled Eren from his thoughts.

He looked down, amber eyes meeting brown, and nodded. "Okay..." He gave one more gentle squeeze, before letting the petite girl go.

Lilly wiped her eyes and her nose, cleaning herself up the best she could. "I... I'm sorry, Eren, that I wasn't fast enough..." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I forgive you." Eren gave that tender smile, then frowned as Hannes grabbed his arm.

"We have to head to the docks, otherwise we'll be stuck here." The blond led them towards the river. He wasn't very gentle.

Lilly followed at a clipped pace, then looked at the gear on her hips. "Mr. Hannes..." She looked at the Garrison member, her voice soft an hollow. Needless to say, she wasn't heard.

As they drew nearer to the docks, Hannes slowed down and ushered the three kids to the boat. But before Lilly lost the chance, she undid the 3DMG and gave it to Hannes. "You need it more than I do at this point," She reasoned, and then she, Eren, and Mikasa were lost to the crowd.

Lilly's brown eyes soon met bright blue and Armin came over to them hesitantly. Eren sat down, and Lilly saw the grief and despair take over the fierce rage in his amber eyes. He had time to think now, time where what just happened could finally sink in as the adrenaline drained from them. Lilly softly filled Armin in on what had happened, and she nearly started crying again as she told of her failure. There was only one reason she didn't cry, and it started with thundering footsteps.

The steps, Lilly heard, were on the other side of the shut gate. They were much faster than any other Titan's. Then with a mighty crash, the Titan charged through the gate, shattering it. It looked to be covered in armor. A cloud of steam hissed from its mouth after it stopped.

Lilly was in shock. _No... By the Walls no! Not again!_ Her hands gripped the railing on the side of the boat to keep from shaking.

She doesn't know how long she stood there, gazing at the broken wall, at the Titans flooding into Wall Maria. She flinched when Eren came up beside her, hate and pure, unbridled rage making his amber eyes blaze like fire. His hands slammed down onto the wood, and he looked out at the Titans, tears staining his cheeks.

"I'll kill every last one. Every. Single. Fucking. Titan. I'll kill them all." The ten-year-old's voice was full of that rage, hate, and sadness. Lilly just looked at him, her heart breaking at the sound, and she moved to sit next to Armin. There she remained for the rest of the boat ride into Wall Rose.

††††††††††††

"If we move them here-"

"No that's no good, then they'll be opened up over here, Shitty Glasses."

"What about here then, Shorty?"

"Well, Shit-"

"No, same issue. And will you two please stop insulting each other during these meetings?"

"I doubt they every will, Commander."

Commander Erwin Smith, Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, and Squad Leaders Hanji Zoe and Mike Zacharius were around a table, trying to make a new plan that hopefully wouldn't end as horribly as the last expedition had. These meetings usually lasted several hours, but the result never seemed to change. Far too many Scouts died on every expedition. Yet they continued trying.

"But if this group goes here, and this over here," Hanji moved her fingers across the diagram of the formations, "then this group will be guarded."

"Yes," Erwin tapped the diagram, "but then less experienced members will be in more danger."

"But if they go here," Mike interjected before Hanji could reply, "then the less experienced will be closer to the center."

"Hm... Not bad... But what about-" Erwin touched the diagram again.

"We could always form smaller groups, small squads, to go to where help is needed." Levi's suggestion took them all by surprise. "Think about it: a small band of elite soldiers going and taking care of Abnormals or assisting the younger ones. It could save lives."

"That's... Not a bad idea..." Erwin frowned thoughtfully. "Okay, so the squads coul-"

"Commander Erwin, sir!" A Scout member bursted into the room and saluted hastily.

"This was supposed to be a private meeting." Erwin walked up to the panting Scout. Obviously he ran here.

"I know sir, but... But Wall Maria has fallen!" The Scout's voice was full of urgent fear. "A colossal Titan broke the wall in Shiganshina!"

A stunned silence filled the room. No one knew what to say or how to respond. Words like "Are you sure?" were unnecessary. If the news wasn't true, this message would have waited until the end of the meeting.

"... Very well.." Erwin's face had gone stark white. None of his training had prepared him for this. Yes, he had sent many a man and woman to their deaths, but this... This wasn't the same. The expeditions always ended at Wall Maria, usually Shiganshina. That's why he had bought a house there for two of his three closest comrades. But all that had changed now.

The Scout saluted, then left. Erwin turned to the table. Levi was gripping the table with a white knuckled grip and Hanji looked like she was about to cry. Erwin mentally blanked for a moment in the light of the news, confused on their reactions for a split second before his goddaughter's face appeared in his mind. Her raven hair, so like her father's, yet with her mother's bright, curious eyes. Erwin's heart sank at the thought of Lilly's flame snuffed out forever.

The silence was heavy and got heavier, then finally Levi got up and left the room. His hands were in fists and he was shaking slightly as he walked. The deadly look in his normally emotionless grey eyes cleared a path for him on the way to the training room. There he changed out of his uniform into athletic clothes and started beating the shit out of the equipment. He knew that if he didn't, he'd explode on someone else.

 _Shit... She can't be dead! There's a chance she could have made it._ Levi roundhouse kicked the punching bag. _Unless..._ Three punches landed, then a kick. _Unless she didn't have any gear... Unless she got cornered..._ Levi's thoughts steadily grew darker, and his punches faster, harder, and more reckless.

Hanji, on the other hand, couldn't move. She hadn't moved from the chair she had fallen into after she found out. Her only daughter, her pride and joy, was in a city now overrun by Titans. While she would love to believe she made it, she knew that that was unlikely. Very few would have survived, she assumed.

Please... please by the Walls let her have survived... Hanji clenches her hands together. She can't bear the thought of losing her only daughter.

"Hanji." Erwin knelt in front of the bespectacled Titan lover. "Hanji there's a chance she may be alive." He glanced up for a moment, giving Mike a look that sent him out of the room, a silent order to make sure Levi didn't hurt himself. "Look, she's had training. She's killed Titans before. She's a capable soldier."

"If anything happened to any of her friends though..." Hanji's voice was surprisingly quiet. "She is fiercely attached to them. If one of them died... I'm afraid she might shut down. Close everyone off... Become reckless... Turn into Levi after the loss of Farlan and Isabel..."

"If she's that protective, she won't _let_ anything happen to her friends." Erwin offered her a hand to help her up. "Come on, a little coffee will cheer you up."

Hanji took the hand and stood. "Let's grab Levi along the way."

Levi delivered another hard kick to the punching bag, finally breaking it off the chain. He was panting and covered in sweat. He hadn't been working long, but his thoughts had worn him out. He grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat off of his face and bare torso, his shirt having been discarded long ago. He headed to the showers, and on the way he heard some Scouts talking.

"Did you hear the news?"

"Yeah... I can't believe Wall Maria fell... Did the Garrison do nothing?"

"They tried to use cannons... But I heard that people saw a lone figure cutting through Titans like a hot knife through butter."

"They must have been a Scout."

"Funny thing is, they said the person didn't have any regiment markings. Just some 3DMG and the knowledge of using it." The soldier flinched and saluted as Levi came up to them.

"Did they say what this person looked like?" Levi demanded, voice much harsher than he intended, but it worked.

"T-They said the person was fairly small, agile, and had raven hair... not unlike your hair color, sir." The soldier was just short of being scared shitless.

Levi was gone a moment later, going up to Erwin's office, not bothering to change. He needed to find his wife, and tell her that their daughter was very much alive. He gave a small frustrated growl as he found it empty. He quickly donned a shirt before heading down to the mess hall. He passed Mike on the way down, but the look in Levi's eyes gave enough warning not to bother him, in case Mike couldn't smell moods. Mike just fell in step beside him and wrinkled his sensitive nose.

"You smell filthy... Which isn't like you. Something important must be-"

"She's alive. She's alive and fighting and I need to tell Hanji." Levi cut across Mike, his tone soft and urgent. Mike nodded and left Levi, before returning shortly, Hanji behind him. Mike left soon after that to give them privacy.

"What is it?" Hanji frowned, taking in her husband's appearance. She figured it must be urgent. He was filthy, which was very much unlike him. Not that she minded.

"Lilly. She's alive and fighting. I heard a couple soldiers talking of a rumor. Apparently a small, raven haired figure was flying through Shiganshina, slaying Titans left and right. And the odd thing is, they didn't have any markings for a regiment." Levi gave Hanji a rare smile.

"Oh, oh by the Walls..." Hanji broke into a grin and hugged Levi, a second later their lips crashed together. It wasn't like them to show affection anywhere save home or when they knew they had complete privacy. The middle of the hall didn't fit that description, but at that moment, neither of them cared. Their daughter was alive and making them proud. If only Lilly could know how they felt...

††††††††††††

Lilly uncurled herself from the ball she had been in for the past several hours. Her joints protested loudly as they cracked and popped. Her stomach was also hollow with hunger. She fidgeted with a strap across her thigh, wondering how her parents were doing. No doubt they heard the news... and she was terrified of her father's reaction.

She had heard tales of how he snapped soon after joining the Scouts from the Underground, when his two closest friends had died. That was twenty months before he married her mother. While it seemed quick, the Scouts couldn't afford to dawdle with trivial matters. If you loved someone and knew they were the one, there was no point in waiting for marriage when they could be dead by the next mission. Lilly inwardly shuddered at the thought of marrying someone, then losing them right away. Not that she _would_ marry anyone... Not now. Not after hell had broken through the Wall.

"Come on, Lilly." She flinched and jerked her hand out if Armin's, nerves still tense. Her breathing was heavy, and her brown eyes filled with fear. A moment later she calmed down.

"O-okay, sorry..." Lilly closed her eyes for a moment, then followed her friends and Mikasa off the boat. She didn't know what to expect, but knew that she'd make it work. Besides... Now she was closer to her parents and Uncle Erwin and Uncle Mike.

"I need something to write with..." Lilly pulled away and went up to a Garrison member. All she got was a scoff and a 'fuck off, brat' when she asked for paper. She returned to her friends, biting her lip. She was just inside Wall Rose, by her parents knew she lived, maybe they could meet up. A full-out search wasn't needed when she was this close to the Scout Regiment headquarters.

"They Garrison is full of jerks," Armin put a hand on her shoulder, "but we'll find a nice one."

Lilly nodded. She just wanted to let her parents know she was okay.

After all, she had lived up to people's expectation as the child of Humanity's Strongest and Humanity's smartest.

 **Again, I don't own Attack on Titan. I only own Lilly. I want to thank the solo guest who reviewed my story and for the three people following it. Means a lot. Well, if you like it, please leave a review, follow, or favorite it. Thanks!**


	4. 4: One Hundred and Eight

**Hey! Thanks for all your support. Especially thank you to PaladinofLight and the special guest for leaving your reviews. You're support is appreciated.**

 **I do not own Attack on Titan.**

 **Trost District, Wall Rose, Year 845**

Lilly returned to where Eren, Armin, and Mikasa were, a loaf of bread in her hands. She sits cross-legged and begins eating. It had been a few weeks after the fall of Wall Maria. Eren had somehow met up with his father, and the key to his basement hung around his neck. The prideful brunet hated this charity, but there was nothing anyone could do. Food was running low.

She had two secrets held in her heart: first of which was an expedition outside the walls as basically a suicide mission to thin the amount of people who had fled Maria. The second was that she had seen a notice for signing up for the military. She didn't need the training, but this training corps would be pushed harder, a year behind the other cadets, but graduating at the same time. Lilly was old enough to join... And she was going to. She trusted Mikasa (begrudgingly) to take care of the two boys.

She finished her bread as Eren was, once again, refusing to eat the bread that was his meal for the day. Lilly had lost weight and she was starving, but she made do. She had to tell them.

"Um..." Lilly had no idea how to begin. The other three Shiganshians turned their gazes to her. "I... I'm joining the military. There's a corps starting in a couple days." She shifts uncomfortably.

"If you're going I'm going too! Beats just sitting here," Eren said heatedly, but Lilly shook her head.

"You have to at least be twelve. I'm thirteen. I'm sorry..." Lily stressed to him. "But you have to stay here."

"What if I lie? I can't sit here and do nothing!" Eren snapped.

"That's not your choice to make." The quiet, cold voice of Mikasa spoke up. "You'll just be putting yourself in danger."

"But..." Eren looked to Armin for help.

"She's right, Eren." Armin shrugged a bit helplessly.

Eren looked very downcast, so Lilly took pity on him and stood to hug Eren gently. "Please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. It'll only be for a couple years." She pleaded into his ear softly. She felt Eren nod against her as he returned the hug.

Armin was next. "I'll miss you, you brainiac." Lilly smiled and hugged him close.

"I'll miss you too." The blond gave a weak smile back.

"Don't sell yourself short. You have a big brain. Keep using it. Survive." Lilly instructed, and Armin too nodded.

Lilly backed away and turned to Mikasa and gave her a nod. "Keep them safe."

"You train your hardest," Mikasa said, her tone implying she couldn't care less about Lilly's well-being otherwise, "and I'm more than capable at keeping them safe."

Lilly bit her lip to keep from snapping at her. She turned and quickly walked away, trying to ignore Eren's look of longing to follow, or Armin's look of hopelessness as she was leaving. She always liked Armin in a brotherly sort of way.

The training camp was between Trost and Wall Sina, in the large section in the middle. It'd be a while before she got there on foot. Trost was the same size as Shiganshina, yet the layout was different. It wasn't familiar for her, so she was bound to get lost eventually. And while most would assume there being a straight roads from gate to gate, finding that road was what she was worried of. She was off it, in a smaller square by the left side of the Wall. The back alleys were as twisting and confusing as they were back home.

The thought of Shiganshina brought tears to Lilly's eyes, yet she resisted them and blinked them away. She just focused on putting one foot in front of the other, on finding her way to the main road. She knew for a fact she was going to have to find somewhere to spend the night, preferably inside the wall. While there were no Titans between Rose and Sina, there were wild animals and bandits. Not that she had anything valuable... Save herself. Eren had told her of human traffickers who had tried to sell Mikasa. Those she wanted to avoid.

She walked until nightfall, where she stopped in a tiny inn by the gate to the interior. She entered, and explained that she was from Wall Maria and joining the military, before pulling out the few steel coins she owned from a pouch sewn onto her belt. The innkeeper was a kind woman who gave her a key with no charge, and a sad, pitiful smile. Lilly took they key and went to her room, the mutter of "poor child" following her.

She had a fitful sleep in the filthy charity-case room. She hated it, but beggars can't be choosers, and she was definitely a beggar. The few coins she had were reserved for if she was absolutely starving, since she had no way of getting more food nor coins to pay for said food.

The next morning came too soon, and Lilly got up with groan. She brushed the filthy and dust off her clothes before leaving the room. She was about to leave, when the kind innkeeper sat her down and forced her to eat. The food was much better than the room she stayed in. Lilly was soon done, chatting a bit with the woman, before waving goodbye.

 _Maybe I'll return if we survive this..._ Lilly swallowed her nervousness. Her mother had told stories of training, how some cadets dropped out, how some had even been killed. _And it's not like I don't have the upper hand already..._ She set her jaw before plodding down the main road again.

The crisp air made her shiver. Spring was just beginning to subside, yet the cool temperatures persisted. She didn't mind, it would make it easier for training. And she had already been trained most of what she would need to know. She just thought a formal training would be what she needed. Maybe Uncle Erwin would let her join as a Squad Leader, one rank below her mother. It was a tall order, but maybe... since she had technically joined the Scouts years ago...

"State your name and business!" A Garrison member's orders broke her from her reverie.

"L-Lilly Zoe-Ackerman from Shiganshina District, joining the military, sir!" She managed a hasty salute.

"Fine. You may go, and good luck," the guard gave her a strange look, as if her name struck a chord in his memory, before he allowed her to go through the gate.

Lilly relaxed and passed through the gate, troubled by the fact there was a guard... Probably because of access to Sina. Didn't want any shady folk to get into the inner city, she figured. As she left the small tunnel that the wall made, her breath hitched.

She was used to the sight of seemingly endless land, but this was different. This was foreign, wild territory. There were few wild flowers and much more tall grass. Scraggly trees dotted the landscape. And on the distant horizon, the faint blur of Wall Sina was just visible.

 _It's so different..._ Lilly thought as she walked down the worn-down path, temporary signs up to guide new recruits to the training camp. She followed them, a couple times nearly getting lost at some forks in the road, but a marker, sometimes barely visible in the tall grass, pointed the way to her.

Around midday, she stopped by the side of get road and took a small break. She ate some of the cloth-wrapped food the innkeeper had given her. The kind woman had also given her a small canteen to hold her over to the camp. She missed the woman's company, hating the silent loneliness. As she bit into the soft bread of her sandwich, her mind drifted to the bread she had been eating the past couple of weeks, then to Eren. She swallowed the bite slowly.

His amber eyes shone before her vision, smiling and happy. They were full of life and curiosity… before they shifted to a look of sadness and rage. She wished desperately she had gotten a chance to tell him how much she meant to her.

Those amber eyes then shifted to a bright blue, blond hair falling into them. She couldn't help the small smile that crept across her face as she though of Armin. He was so cute, so curious, so pure... She loved him, but he was so like her mother she couldn't help but view him as a brother. She hoped he found a good girl to take care of him. The next growl of her stomach encouraged her to keep eating.

After her meal had ended, Lilly sighed deeply and stood, her feet aching. And she knew it was only going to get worse. Uncle Erwin told her that the man he replaced took over charge to train the new recruits... He was frightening. Keith Shadis, his name was. She had only actually met him once, and she could barely remember that meeting.

Just as the sun was setting, the poor thirteen-year-old's eyes glimpsed a high fence. _Oh fucking_ finally _!_ She quickened her pace to reach the camp before the sun was fully down.

She slipped into the camp after telling an older cadet who she was and why she was there. The moon rose, casting little light from its fingernail-like shape. She found her way to the dormitories in the dark. She heard the rise and fall of conversation from both. With a bated breath, she entered the females' dormitory.

There was bunk upon bunk, about 15 total in this particular room. The voices faded to silence as they took in her ragged appearance and the fact she had no bag full of her belongings. A tall girl with sandy blonde hair and sky blue eyes led her to an empty bunk.

"You can stay here... you must be from Shiganshina," the girl has a soft, sad smile, "otherwise you'd at least have a change of clothes. Amy!" She barked to a black-haired girl. "Get her a change of clothes and a jacket." She turns back to Lilly. "I'm Arianna, or Ari, by the way. The oldest cadet in this dorm, part of the 102nd." She offered a hand, which Lilly took.

"Thank you very much... and I did come from Shiganshina." Lilly's confirmation was greeted with a few gasps of shock, pity, and amazement from the surrounding girls. "But my parents were in Trost at the time, so they're fine..." She balled her hands into fists to fight down the memory of Carla Jaeger's death, the spray of blood filling the air...

"Well that's good to hear," Ari put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't dwell too much on it, wait until you can remember it fearlessly... Er, I don't believe I ever caught your name."

"L-Lilly Zoe-Ackerman," Lilly's voice was quiet, the memory still fighting to emerge.

"Well, Lilly, welcome to the 103rd training corp." Ari smiled gently.

††††††††††††

"LISTEN UP YOU USELESS MAGGOTS!" Not exactly the best way to start a morning, but Keith Shadis had two volumes: louder than hell or dangerously quiet. Both volumes were intimidating, and both, if directed at you, meant that you were fucked. "This corps is an impromptu corps! Being here means that you think you can beat the Titans. You think you can be a hero after the fall of Wall Maria and claim the land back. Here's the truth: YOU ARE WORTHLESS AND YOU MEAN FUCKING NOTHING!"

Lilly inwardly winced at the harsh words, outwardly blank, hands behind her back. She wore a light purple button-down shirt with the Training regiment jacket on and standard white pants and black leather boots: gifts from the girls in her dorm.

Shadis continued screaming at the one hundred and eight cadets (which was about half the size the average training corps graduates), completely beating down their self-esteem. Uncle Erwin had observed this induction process a couple times, and had told Lilly he believed this verbal abuse was to reshape the cadets to mold them into the perfect soldier.

"YOU!" Shadis had moved to walk among the ranks of the cadets. His victim was a girl with straw-colored hair in a low ponytail. "Why the FUCK do YOU think you're GOOD ENOUGH to be HERE?"

The girl saluted. Lilly wished she could have seen her face, but she was behind the taller girl. "Heike Friedrich from Dauper Village, sir!" Her voice was surprisingly strong. "I want to join the Scouts and fight for humanity, sir!"

This declaration caused a ripple of surprise from the one hundred and seven other cadets. Join the Scouts? That's a death wish! Does she really value her life so little?

"So you think you'll be a hero if you join the Scouts, eh? Think that you'll make a difference in the world?" Shadis' voice was dripping in sarcasm.

"No sir! I-" Heike began, but she was cut off.

"GOOD, because YOU fucking mean NOTHING! First squad, about face!" Shadis barked, the front row turning around.

And this verbal abuse continued on. Lilly watched in fear as he demolished cadet after cadet, steadily getting closer to her. And far too soon, he stopped in front of her, brief recognition flashing in his brown eyes.

"And WHO might YOU fucking BE?!" He screamed into her face, knowing full well what the answer was.

A hand jumped up to a salute. "Lilly Zoe-Ackerman, sir!" She said, voice strangely steady, despite her heart pounding in her chest.

"And WHY the FUCK are you HERE?!"

"To join the Scouts and follow in my parents' footsteps, sir!" Oh, why did she have to say that? Now she would get unwanted attention.

"And WHO might your PARENTS fucking BE?" If he had lighter skin than his light brown skin tone, he'd be red from all this shouting.

 _Ohshitohshitohshitohshit..._ Lilly swallowed nervously. She'd be put up on a pedestal... Hell, she might even be kicked out based on unfair advantage!

"HEY! I ASKED you a FUCKING QUESTION!" His screaming voice caused Lilly to realize she had been silent for too long. Time to deal with the consequences.

"L-Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman and Senior Squad Leader Hanji Zoe of the Survey Corps, sir!" Lilly held her head up a little higher, trying to ignore the fact her glasses were starting to slip down her nose.

As expected, a murmur of shock and surprise rippled throughout the one hundred and seven other cadets. The girls in her dorm were probably some of the most surprised. Her name didn't mean anything beforehand because Levi's last name was all but unknown. Now everyone knew... and they knew of Lilly's legacy she had to live up to.

Lilly doesn't move a muscle, brown eyes meeting brown. Oh, she was used to holding terrifying gazes. She had to meet her father in the eye more than once after making a giant mess.

"Oh, so YOU think YOU can meet THIER greatness? Make them FUCKING PROUD? Here's the TRUTH maggot: you'll be FUCKING TITAN CHOW before you can do ANYTHING with your MISERABLE LIFE!" After getting a bit of saliva on her glasses, Shadis moved down the line, calling her squad to an about face, and she turned around.

Lilly waited until Shadis was harassing another cadet before cleaning the disgusting filth off her glasses, dropping from her stance for a moment. Luckily she wasn't caught.

The rest of the day, after the "initiation" of all the cadets, was fairly relaxed. She was pleased that her dorm wasn't filled to the brim. There were about eighteen girls in it, the other girls' bunker being the full thirty. That meant she got a bunk all to herself, only four being full.

Lilly collapsed into her bed with a mighty wince and closed her eyes, mentally and physically exhausted. She could feel the heat radiating from her new sunburns, and the discomfort of the sheets against them.

"Dinner starts in half an hour, you know." Heike's voice sounded tired as well, but also more cheerful. She entered the dorm and started fixing her hair, brushing her bangs from her sunburnt face.

"Shhhhh let me reeeest." Lilly smiled, glancing at the blonde.

"You're gonna be late." Heike chuckled.

"Good. Maybe then I don't have to have a million questions being asked about my parents or what happened in Shiganshina." Lilly sighed.

"Going in late is exactly what'll draw attention to you!" Heike grabbed Lilly's arm and pulled her from the bunk. "Now come on. You want to make a good first impression, don't you?"

"Fine, you win." Lilly sighed, but let Heike tend to her raven hair, making it look decent. Besides, she seemed to be her first friend.

"Eeeeeee!" Heike squeed as she finished, "you look gorgeous! Now come on!" She tugged Lilly to the door.

Lilly followed Heike and ran a hand through her hair. There was a braid across the top of her head, keeping her hair out of her face, but it also let her hair cascade down her back. A smile tugged at her lips.

"Here we aaaaaaaaare~!" Heike sang as she opened the door to the mess hall, dinner just beginning. "Come on." She pulled Lilly inside.

Silence fell as the small raven-haired girl entered the mess hall. All eyes were trained on her, the living legend; the child of Humanity's Strongest and Humanity's Smartest. Lilly awkwardly got her dinner, feeling the multitude of eyes boring into her. She sat down beside Heike, wishing she could melt into the floor.

The moment her ass hit the chair, she was surrounded by people.

"Have you ever been outside the Walls?"

"How many Titans have you killed?"

"What was the Colossal Titan like?"

"Did you see the Armored Titan?"

"Is Levi really as strong as they say?"

"Do you get a free pass into the Scouts?"

"What are the Titans like?"

The questions kept coming, flooding her. She felt like she was drowning, each question dragging up memories. The last question had a spray of blood filling the air, and a flower crown laying in the wreckage of a house she knew so well. She froze, tears threatening to fall beneath her glasses.

"YO! Fuck off! Can't you see she doesn't want to be bothered?" Heike snapped at the interrogators. "She obviously has memories she'd rather not think about, so go. Shoo." She waved her hands like she was shooing away a dog, and the crowd dispersed, shooting Lilly glances; some jealous, some full of pity, some curious.

"Th-thanks..." Lilly murmured to her soup, returning to her food.

"Anytime, chica." Heike winked and began eating as well. "Figured that you'd rather eat in peace. Although I'm surprised how much they swarmed… did you even get to answer them?"

Lilly shook her head. "There were too many. I could barely even think straight… Felt like I was drowning." She gripped her spoon tighter to cover up the shaking.

"Hey, you'll be fine." Heike rubbed her back soothingly. "I've got you're back."

"Literally." Lilly chuckled lightly, not entirely recovered. She looked at Heike, wondering how she made a friend.

"Not meaning to sound rude or anything," Lilly began hesitantly, "but why are we friends? Why me?"

"Well…" Heike thought for a moment. "Guess it's because I felt like you needed someone. Most people who joined the military know at least someone here... but I'm sensing you came alone."

Lilly nodded. "Yeah, my friends are all a couple years younger than me, so I had to leave them behind since they weren't old enough." Lilly finished her soup and moved onto the bread, using it to wipe up the leftover soup. "Thanks Heike." She flashed her a smile.

The straw-blonde girl winked and gave Lilly a high-five. "No problem. Now let's kick this training corps ass."


	5. Author's Note

**I just want to thank everyone who has been following my story, and you have my sincerest apologies. I'm swamped with stuff right now, and haven't had much time to write, plus having a bit of a writer's block. Again, I am so sorry I haven't updated recently!**


	6. 5: Survived Another Year

**Thank you for everyone who's favorited and is following my story! Means a lot. Love all of you and sorry for it being so long without an update, but it should be more often as I'm getting free time back. Two more things: this is definitely an M rated chapter down towards the end, and I do not own Attack on Titan or any characters save those of he 102nd and 103rd Training Corps.**

 **Training Camp, Wall Rose, Year 846**

"KEEP MOVING!" The order cracked through the soft silence of the snow-filled trees like a gunshot. The cadets who were running with their packs happily obliged.

It was early winter, and the cadets were training their asses off, even in the freezing cold. Their runs usually ended in the cadets huddling by the roaring fire in the mess hall, waiting for their sweat to unfreeze, for their body to get warm, aided by coffee and tea. Winter while training was the worst, as snow could pile up over 4 feet.

Lilly was by the middle of the pack, able to be in the front but she's trying to not stand out. She didn't want to be noticed by everyone. She didn't want to be resented for who she was. And she knew some were jealous, since she technically didn't really have to try and be amazing at everything. It was in her genetics.

One thing she excelled at that was a shock to Shadis and the other cadets, due to her size, was hand-to-hand combat. She was lightning fast, and her fighting style was unique. A blend of the rugged, lawless Underground techniques and the fair, pristine techniques of the Surface, as her father had put it many times. The Underground techniques were rougher and more "uncouth". They involved getting your hands dirty, of not exactly fighting fair. She was very good at those... Something Levi was a bit proud of, his roots not forgotten.

And right now, she was eagerly waiting for the break that Uncle Erwin had promised. He said that in the last week of the year, he'd tell Shadis that he'd be taking her, since that was the holiday season and training was all but stopped due to snow and temperatures.

In that week, two very important days rolled along: her father's and her own birthdays. His was December 25, her's December 28. And on his birthday, he was at his happiest. He called Lilly the best birthday present ever, even if she came a little late. Which was usually followed by a flick to the head.

Lilly caught herself from slipping, jolted from her thoughts. _This damn ice is going to be the death of me..._ She internally sighed and kept running, staying with the group until the mess hall was finally in sight. She entered with the pack and took up her place by the roaring fire, Heike plopping down beside her.

"So we survived it again." She grinned, nudging the petite girl.

"You can say that, but I'll be shivering until graduation." She laughed. "Besides, I'll be out of here soon. Uncle Erwin is letting me go to the Scouts for a week... Maybe, if I'm lucky, he'll let me join them on the spring mission." Her brown eyes lit up behind her glasses, which finally defogged. "I've been on a couple missions before, but that was in unfamiliar territory... I know the land around Wall Maria better..."

"You just want to see Shiganshina again." Heike nudged her. "Admit it."

"Wouldn't you?" Lilly gave her friend a look. "Yeah, I miss it. I miss the flower fields right outside the wall. I miss the trees. I miss the smell. I miss it all. It's a life I knew for 13 years... so of course I'm going to miss it. It's not like you and Dauper." She scooted closer to the flames.

"Makes sense." Heike sighed. "Guess I just don't get it... It's odd thinking of losing your town completely... to never be able to see it again... At least your family made it." She nodded. "That's a big plus."

"Heike, considering what regiment their in, and who they are, if my parents _didn't_ make it that'd be a disgrace. Dad would never stand for it. Remember, he's called Humanity's Strongest for a reason." She poked her friend's cheek.

Heike opened her mouth to reply, when a voice called out "Cadet Zoe-Ackerman!".

Said cadet scrambled to her feet, saluting. "Sir!" She glanced at the man, one of Shadis's messengers.

He looked Lilly up and down before replying. "Commander Shadis wants to see you in his office pronto." He then left.

Lilly gave Heike a thumbs up before she left, crossing the snow-filled grounds as quickly as she could. The frigid wind bit into her unexposed flesh, even biting through the winter version of the cadet's jacket. It was longer and thicker, with fur around the hood. She drew it closer around herself, her sturdy boots thankfully kept her from slipping.

She arrived at the main building of the training facility soon, shivering even as she stepped into the solid warmth. She began the trek to Shadis's office, passing by several of the classrooms that the cadets used during their time here.

The door to Shadis's office was thick and heavy oak, a nameplate engraved with "Keith Shadis" nailed into the wood. Lilly hesitated for a moment, before she steeled herself and knocked. The low "Come in" greeted her. She entered the office.

It was a fairly plain room, with a bookcase, a desk, a fireplace, and two chairs. One was currently occupied by the Commander of the Training Corps. Lilly hesitantly sat in the other.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" She tried to quell the shake in her voice. She clenched her hands in her lap. For some reason, being alone, one-on-one, with the Commander was more terrifying than when he shouted in her face, or even when she had to confess to her parents that she broke one of her mother's instruments, thus creating a giant mess.

"I received a letter today from Commander Erwin Smith," Shadis took in the way her eyes lit up and her back straightened, "and he's requesting to keep you with him and the Scouting Regiment for a week and a half." He looked at the girl. "Now tell me something: Why should I let you go and party while the rest of us stay and work?"

Lilly froze at the question, then swallowed. "W-Well, sir... I've already been outside the walls, something you were informed of when I first came. I know how to use 3DMG already. Most things that are being taught I've known for years, from my mother." Lilly's tone was very cautious, trying not to sound snooty or arrogant. She's just stating facts.

Shadis nodded, knowing what she was doing. He knew from the moment he saw her in the training corps on day one that she would have had experience already. It would have been foolish of him to not expect it. "Go on."

"Yes sir. And it is also my birthday, as well as my father's, soon, and I haven't seen him in a long time..." Lilly swallowed. She hadn't seen her parents since her mother's birthday last May. She even missed Uncle Erwin's birthday. "... and I was hoping that that might help...?" She winced the moment the words left her mouth.

Shadis took a long time in answering. "You may go. He said he'll be here in two days if I said you could. Enjoy the break, and I expect you to be twice the soldier you are afterwards." He nodded.

"Yes sir!" Lilly saluted and left, a grin breaking out.

††††††††††††

"Can you smell anything yet?" Hanji was bouncing on the balls of her feet, excited to see her daughter once more. Mike rolled his eyes. This was the fifth time she asked in ten minutes.

"I told you before, Hanji, I'll tell you when I get a whiff of them." The dusty-blond answered. He sniffed the air again, and once again only smelled the stink of dirt and sweat as well as the mass of people-scent that permeated the Trost HQ of the Scouting Legion. That stench was pierced by the scent of fresh snow.

Levi let out a soft "Tch!" as he walked up, hearing his wife intake breath to ask again. "Shitty-Glasses, he'll tell us when he smells something." His voice was as flat as it always has been.

"Well, excuuuuuuuse me for being excited to see her again." Hanji sniffed, pulling her scarf tighter around her neck and jacket closer to her body.

††††††††††††

The wind was howling once more, causing Lilly to shiver while her arms were wrapped around Erwin's waist. She just barely managed to touch her hands together. "U-Uncle-le Erw-win it's t-too fuck-cking cold!" She said through chattering teeth. "I-I thought-t you-ou wer-re bringing a c-c-carriage!"

Erwin Smith looked behind him at the small girl, the daughter of two of his closest friends, and he laughed at her plight. "I warned you that we'd be in the cold! And it's not that bad."

"I-I'm not a f-f-fucking human furn-n-nice like you!" Lilly poked him in the belly, which made him laugh again. He found it amusing how she could be so much like Hanji one minute, then practically the female version of Levi the next. "I h-have n-no defenc-ce agains-st the c-c-cold." She snuggled into his back, into the warmth.

Erwin just smiled again. He was aware that some people, aka his equals in the Military Police and the Garrison, would view his relationship with Lilly as unfitting for a commander. He didn't give a single fuck, though, and he would continue to treat Lilly like he would if she were his own daughter. Hell, Lilly was practically the joint child of him, Levi, Hanji, and Mike, based on the fact that all four of them had some part in raising her.

Erwin would never admit it, but hearing her call him Uncle Erwin made him so incredibly happy, as opposed to "heartless bastard" or "monster", which were his names from everyone else. They believed he enjoyed sending legions and legions of soldiers out to their deaths, when really they haunted him in his sleep. The term of endearment from Lilly made for a nice change.

"Well, maybe you should sit in front, then?" Erwin slows the horse down, them nearly to Wall Rose, and he moved her so she sat in front of him. She instantly snuggled into the warmth. He was also thrice her size, so he made a great windshield.

"M-Much better." She hummed, the chatter fading. "Thank you, u-uncle." She closed her eyes to take a quick nap, her bag of clothing and such she had been given in a saddlebag. The bag also contained two gifts from Shadis: one for Levi and one for her.

"Any time, Lilly." Erwin rode on, nodding to the Garrison guard at the gate, who saluted as he rode past. The Commander was in Trost enough that all veteran Garrison members knew him on sight. They knew better than to stop him.

††††††††††††

"Can you sm-" Hanji began, before a quick, somewhat gentle kick to the shin by Levi shut her up. She pouted, before brightening up as Mike sniffed the air again.

"I smell a mix of horse, lab, cleaning supplies, and Erwin, so I assume that's them." He nodded, and Hanji put her hands around her glasses to try and see. She laughed as she sighted them.

Erwin raised a hand in greeting as he rode up, Lilly still napping, looking like a small child compared to him. "She fell asleep right before we entered Trost." He explained, and Levi shook his head.

"She's always sleeping. Wake her up." His glare dared Erwin to say something. Levi knew damn well enough he wasn't tall enough on the ground to reach higher than Lilly's calf. It was quite demeaning and humiliating.

Hanji bounced up to them and gently shook her daughter's leg. "Liiiiiiiilly~!" She sang softly, like she always would when they lived in Shiganshina.

"Five more minutes... the cold makes me sleepy." Lilly snuggled more into Erwin, trying to find that sweet solace of sleep again.

"But Lilly, you need to get up, otherwise papa's gonna douse you with ice water again." Hanji winked to her husband, who rolled his storm-grey eyes.

"Please no!" Lilly jerked up, eyes open and somewhat alert. She blinked in the weak sunlight that provided no warmth, and then to her mother. She instantly slid off the horse and into her mother's arms. "Mama!" She laughed.

Hanji hugged and spun her daughter around, a grin on her face too. "Hey kiddo. Have a nice ride?" She kissed her forehead.

Lilly made a face at Erwin. "I was freezing cold because Uncle Erwin made me sit behind him."

Erwin raised his hands in defense. "I offered you to sit in front of me at the beginning, but you refused."

Hanji laughed again and Levi just rolled his eyes once more. Lilly broke the embrace with her mother to hug her father, who gave her a strong yet tender hug. She loved them. She always felt so safe in his arms. "Hey papa." She nuzzled him gently.

"Hey brat." Levi pulled away from the hug and gave her an affectionate flick to the head. "You've gotten taller." He commented, now about two inches shorter than her.

"Well that's what happens when kids hit this thing called puberty, hon." Hanji put her arm around Levi's shoulders, who then immediately ducked out from under her arm.

"Ugh, I hate puberty... all I can smell are the hormones." Mike wrinkled his nose, then smiled as Lilly hugged him next.

"Hi Uncle Mike." Her voice was softer on this one. She had a special relationship with Mike, based on the fact he didn't talk much, but often helped her when everyone else was busy. He was the same rank as her mother, but Mike didn't have notes and experiments to do, and he didn't have the amount of paperwork as Levi and Erwin, so he often was stuck caring for her.

Mike hugged back and ruffled her hair. "Staying out of trouble?" He asked.

"Yeah, and I'm top of the class." Lilly grinned. "Everyone seems baffled at how I fight my "Titans". They don't seem to understand how a backhand grip improves speed."

"Y... You use a backhand grip?" Hanji looked at her daughter in wonder. "But you never did whenever we went outside the walls before." She frowned, leading the troupe into the warmth of the HQ.

"Well... I started using it after Shiganshina fell." Lilly said, looking at the four adults. "I mean... That's when I first tried it. It felt instinctual."

"It's because you're built for speed and agility, like I am." Levi nodded to his daughter. "Which makes it natural for you to be comfortable in the way I fight. You've already proved yourself in the hand- to- hand part of training. Shadis sent us a letter telling me of how our daughter was mopping the floor with cadets, using both the taught skills as well as some he'd never seen before." He gave a tiny smile.

"Sometimes I wonder if I gave you anything besides my eyes." Hanji sighed, then smiled. "Well, of course I did. I gave you your heart and soul and curiosity. The fact you show more emotion than a rock proves that." She laughed, Lilly joining.

 _It's good to be back._ Lilly thought with a smile on her face.

††††††††††††

The party for Levi's birthday had to be perfect, as it was also Christmas Day. As a tradition, the Zoe-Ackerman's didn't give each other gifts, rather they just spent time together. This usually included them just sitting in the lab, talking about anything and everything. Levi always seemed to get bored as his wife prattled on and on about the new types of Titans they had seen, but he secretly loved how his daughter soaked everything up, writing all the information down. She even added some sketches as Hanji described the faces.

"So how are the Jaegers? Everything going alright?" Hanji asked, after she decided that was enough Titan talk.

Lilly bit her lip. She never had a chance to tell them about Mrs. Jaeger's death, nor the mysterious disappearance of Dr. Jaeger. She never had had time before. She looked at her hands in her lap. "M... Mrs. Jaeger is dead." She said softly. "D-Devoured..."

Hanji was hugging her a moment later as Lilly's tears started falling again, Levi soon joining in the hug. But Lilly couldn't stop talking there.

"Sh... She got tr-trapped in the wreck-ckage of their house... Er-en and Mik-kasa tried-d to s-save her." Lilly said into her mother's chest. "I-I had ge-ear... and I w-was too sl-slow. I d-didn't make it..." She then starts crying too hard to continue... but then again she can't. She doesn't remember what happened next, really. Everything was tinted in a red haze.

Hanji and Levi just held her gently until she finished, and she wiped her eyes with a shaking hand. "S-sorry..." Lilly murmured.

"Oh don't worry about it." Hanji kissed her head. "You've been through some hard times. You're entitled to a few tears."

Lilly nodded, then she looked to her father, who gave her a rare smile.

"You're brave and strong, Lilly." He hugged her again and she clung to him.

"Thank you papa." She said softly. "I strive to be like you two..." She brushed her hair from her face. "And everyone else holds me up to you as well."

"Good. It means they know how you'll surpass both of us." Hanji laughed and hugged her daughter again. "Now let's get to the party."

The trio walked from their room to the mess hall, where their good friends had a cake and decorations and alcohol, lots of alcohol, waiting for them.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI!" The group said together, then the fun began.

Lilly sat and talked with Moblit Berner, her mother's assistant. She always found him funny, since he was often drunk. And when he was drunk he told the best stories about her mother when she couldn't be around them. And naturally, she never touched the alcohol, even when Moblit poured her a glass drunkenly, which he ended up consuming anyway.

"Having fun?" Levi plopped next to her, the redness of his cheeks marking that he had a glass more than he could handle. He put an arm around her shoulder, thoroughly buzzed.

"Papa you've drank too much again." Lilly poked her father's nose, this a usual thing for her on Christmas. She was just glad none of the superiors were angry or violent drunks. They were all just very entertaining to watch.

Levi rolled his eyes. "I did not. I had just the right amount. If you want to see someone who drank too much, look at her." He nodded to his wife, who was absolutely wasted and playing a heated game of strip poker with Erwin… who was losing.

Lilly rolled her eyes right back. "And I'll be the responsible one and make sure everyone gets to bed." She looked back to Moblit, who was now passed out on the table. "And he's our first victim."

"Let's draw on his face!" Hanji laughed, resting her back on her husband, her shirt open and her belt off. Erwin meanwhile was in a similar state, his bolo tie on his head, toned muscles showing, and as wasted as she was.

"Hanji where did my bolo tie go? That shit's expensive." Erwin huffed, taking another swig from the bottle in his hand.

Lilly giggled. "Uncle it's on your head." She rested her chin on the palm of her hand, smiling away. She loved this. This togetherness they shared. Levi drained the last of Shadis's present: a bottle of the best wine from Sina.

"Well I better get off to bed before I do something stupid." He stood and staggered a step before he strode off to his room he shared with his wife, Hanji following, nibbling on his ear.

"Levi..." She whined. "I want you tonight... As a present." She kissed the back of his neck.

Levi just rolled his eyes and kept walking. "Not yet, Shitty-Glasses." He kissed her hand before he entered.

As soon as they had both gone in, Levi closed the door, locked it, and his lips crashed against Hanji's. She gave a soft moan and kissed back, a hand going into his undercut, feeling his fuzz. She always found it very soft. Her tongue traced his bottom lip, and Levi gave a soft growl before he opened his mouth to accept her tongue, the two tangling together deliciously. He could taste the alcohol on her tongue, and that somehow made it better.

He groaned into her mouth, his hands slipping off her shirt. He then began to undo the bandages that acted as Hanji's bra. Levi kissed her again, and Hanji returned the kiss, taking off his belt and taking off that damn cravat and unbuttoning his shirt. She needed him. She could feel the desire burning in her gut.

Finally, after a long, steamy makeout session, their torsos were finally bare, and Levi immediately descends upon her chest, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping it as his other hand fondles the other, causing Hanji to moan in bliss. Her eyes fluttered close, and her knees started to grow weak. She clutched Levi's shoulders, trying to stay upright.

"Le-Levi..." Hanji moaned, and she arched her back against the wall, pressing her chest further into Levi's face.

Levi hummed in pleasure and he switched to the other breast, giving that one love, while he pulled her over to the bed. He spun and pinned her down, his nimble hands removing her boots, pants, and panties all in one fluid movement. He began to kiss down her front, soon coming to her entrance, tongue running across the slit. Hanji let out a squeal of the purest pleasure and she gripped the sheets for something to hold on to as Levi's tongue slipped into her and began to pump and wiggle around, all while sucking on her bundle of nerves. She buried her hands into his hair as he delved deeper, screaming in ecstasy as he hummed against her core, the vibrations shooting up her spine.

It wasn't long until Hanji found her end, screaming as she falls over the edge, hard. White was all she saw as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her. Levi licked up all of her fluids, before he kissed her hard, letting her revel in tasting herself on his tongue. While he kissed her, removed his own clothing, and thrusted into her sharply.

That movement alone made Hanji shriek, which spurred Levi on to go at a fast and furious rhythm, each thrust hitting deeper and deeper until he hit that spot that made his love scream his name in sheer ecstasy. He loved it, and his mouth descended upon her chest once more. He nipped and sucked, while the other hand fondled the other. The sound of their moans and screams mixed with the slap of skin on skin as Levi pounded into Hanji filled the air.

Hanji peered over the edge once more, hypersensitive from the last time. Plus it had been so long that she had forgotten what it was like. All too soon, she fell over the edge, and she instinctively bucked her hips against Levi's, grinding against him, helping him chase down his end. He groaned as he reached his own end, and he thrusted into Hanji a few more times as he rode out his climax, panting and drenched in sweat.

"Oh god..." Hanji moaned, basking in the afterglow. She still felt him, felt his skin slapping against hers... She almost missed it. "It's been far too long..."

Levi pulled out and laid beside her. "We don't get much time for it and when we do have the time we're too tired." He kissed her cheek before he snuggled into her, the exertion mixed with the alcohol making it easy. Hanji just snuggled him and fell asleep as well.

††††††††††††

Lilly sighed. She was left alone to clean up after the party, everyone either passed out on the tables or they staggered off to bed. But she didn't mind. The silence was rather nice. She finally had time to think, and she could only think of her friends, of Eren and Armin, of Heike and Amy and Ari... All of them were so important to her.

But then they shifted to a dark haired girl by the name of Mikasa, and she huffed and scrubbed the tabletop harder. Just what was she doing to Eren? How was she oppressing him now? Lilly shook her head. There's time for that later... She eventually went to bed, happy that she and her father survived another year in the hellhole they called reality.


	7. 6: First Blood

**Sorry for how long it's been! I've been busy with finals and holidays and writers block but it's here! Thank you to everyone who's favorited and followed my story! And I want to thank Ea for their review.**

 **Scout Regiment Headquarters, Trost District, Wall Rose, Year 847**

Lilly was busy getting ready, moving around the temporary room she was given. It was spotless, of course. She had been excused from the training corps once more, but this time for a much more serious reason than a birthday party. She came for a mission outside the wall. She had been on a couple... No, she had only gone outside with a small, elite group for practice. Never before had she been on a real mission. She was both very excited and very nervous.

The most interesting part was that she wasn't with either of her parents. She was with a man named Jakob, who lived in Wall Maria. She enjoyed him as a leader, since he made jokes often, but she knew the jokes hid the deeper pain inside. But then again, she knew many Scouts were considered crazy, based in having different ways of reacting to the tragedy that surrounds them.

But today... Today was merely a training day, some hand to hand and gear training. Nothing difficult, save Lilly would be surrounded by some of the best men and women in the military. It was a little bit intimidating. At least the late-April weather was nice... And it was a couple days after her mother's birthday. The party had been a classic Hanji party; aka plenty of alcohol. Many members were still recovering.

"ALRIGHT!" Erwin boomed over the din of everyone. "I have the list of sparring partners up! Go find out who you're with, and after whom you fight. We will go in that order, I don't want to have to call out names. Then again, all of you should know how business is run here." Erwin gave a small smile.

Lilly managed to get through the throng and she chuckled. Her partner was L. C. L. Of course she knew who that was, while to everyone else it could have been a mystery. She didn't know how many people knew to whom those initials belonged.

She waited patiently until it was her turn, taking off her jacket and rolling up the sleeves of her soft lilac button down shirt the fight before hers. She had worn a similar color scheme since her first days of training. She waited, bored, as the cadets fought and sparred. She easily could have floored any of them in five minutes. Soon enough, it was her turn.

She jumped over the railing as the cadets left, and laid her jacket over it, a grin spreading across her face as she saw her father enter the ring with her. A ripple of gasps raced around the watching cadets, but Lilly just smirked. She cracked her neck and knuckles, getting into her fighting stance, almost identical to that of her father's. And that wasn't a surprise, after all, he taught her all he knew.

Erwin gave the command, and Lilly moved first, darting forward, then flipping up and over Levi as he went to punch. She moved to swipe his legs from under him, but he anticipated the move and kicked at her. She narrowly avoided his boot and rolled away, jumping up and raising her arms to block the kick to her face.

 _He's almost too fast... But maybe I can use family ties against him?_ Lilly thought as she danced backwards.

Levi went to kick at Lilly, trusting she'll block, but as he saw her stay still, he hesitated. He'd never forgive himself if he hu-

Levi let out a groan as he found himself flat on his back in the dirt, Lilly having moved while he stopped, kicking his feet out from under him while he was distracted. She offered him a hand.

"Need help, old man?" She smirked, her words drawing a gasp from the surrounding Scouts.

Levi took her hand, then spun and pinned her to the dirt. "Never let your guard down, even once they're defeated. I thought I taught you better."

"And yet I was still able to get you dirty." Lilly clicked her tongue, and Levi flicked her in the head.

"Cheeky little brat." He helped her stand and she brushed herself off. "Certainly you didn't get it from me." Levi added and Lilly rolled her eyes and just left the ring for the next group to go.

"Nice work." Erwin clapped a hand onto Lilly's shoulder and she beamed.

"Thanks uncle. I'm surprised I actually managed to floor him."

"It's because you betrayed the love I have for you." Levi nudged his daughter, and she just stuck her tongue out at him.

"You're just mad because I made you look beatable."

"Keep your claws in, kitten." Hanji laughed as she came to the little group. "We have a lot more to do. After this training, we have gear, and I'll want help putting together some things to capture a Titan one of these days." She giggled maniacally.

"Hanji Zoe I did _not_ give clearance for that." Erwin shook his head. "I don't need anyone being killed because you need some toys to play with."

Hanji rolled her eyes and they watched the next group go. They were okay, more even than anyone against Levi, but that didn't really change anything. Levi was a very skilled fighter, and took pride in that fact. Even Lilly had to resort to an underhand tactic to even get a hit on him. It was unbelievable. It was fascinating.

In a couple hours the training ended and they broke for lunch in the mess hall. Lilly sat with the higher-ups, since she didn't really have any friend in the Scouts. She wondered how Heike was doing, if the blonde was okay. She knew her friend didn't like it when Lilly left the training camp for the weeks that she did. She knew Heike always feared she was going to be killed or eaten or something. It was heartwarming, since Lilly was glad to have a friend her age who cares about her. Otherwise it was just Eren and Armin, then Uncle Mike and Uncle Erwin.

"You okay kiddo?" Hanji ruffled her hair as Lilly frowned. "What's bothering ya?"

"I'm fine, Mama." Lilly smoothed her hair and smiled gently, but she sighed as Levi sat beside her.

"No you're not." He flicked Lilly's head. "What's troubling you?"

"I'm just thinking about Heike, sorry. Just missing her." She shifted uncomfortably. She didn't have many friends. Heike was her closest, then the skilled fighter and bright engineer Ari Storme. She was a year older than Lilly, part of the 102nd training corps, the one hers trained with. She didn't have many male friends... But her father seemed quite okay with that. Lilly figured he was fed up with teen drama in the Scouts. Naturally he didn't want it in the family.

"No need for apologizing for missing a friend." Hanji put an arm around her daughter. "Just shows you care."

"And we know you and dad don't have many friends. Because you're crazy and dad just has a sparkling personality." Lilly snickered, earning a playful punch in the shoulder by her mother and a sharp jab to the ribs from her father. But both of them were smiling and/or chuckling while doing it.

Soon enough it was time for gear practice, both alone and with the assigned squad. Lilly met up with Jakob, who, she learned, had been a Scout for five years now. He was part of the one hundredth training corps, two before Ari's. But as Lilly flew beside him, she noticed how good he was. He was young, only 21, but if anyone his age deserved his position, it was him. He had a natural authority but was also incredibly kind and polite. He motivated everyone, even those not in his Squad.

"You alright there?" Jakob called back to one of the other members of his squad, a dusty blond named Stephan.

"I'm fine! Just made a small calculation error!" The boy laughed and swung off again, rejoining their formation. He was a fantastic flier too.

It wasn't long before Lilly really began to feel inferior. Here were all these strong and powerful people, and who was she? She's a fucking kid who was here because of her parents. She landed on a branch at the end of the course and sat down. She wasn't really that tired, just feeling dejected. She sighed and then looks up as Jakob sat beside her.

"You're looking down. Everything alright?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just... It's hard, being here will all these wonderful Scouts... I'm just a child playing with the big kids... It's overwhelming... Like I don't measure up." Lilly admitted softly.

"Lilly, you're the best that I've seen at your age." He said, watching the other cadets practice. "You have a lot to learn still, but at 15... Holy shit I've never seen a kid your age be this good, especially with only a year and a half of training under their belt." He looked at her and smiled. "Don't sell yourself short, Lilly. Your skill comes from you, not just your parents. You're the one who's kept training, who decided to go into the Scouts even before graduation. You easily could make the top ten, yet you don't want to go to the easy life of the MPs."

"I've never been a fan of easy. It doesn't provide the challenge that I enjoy." Lily shook her head and chuckled. "And I've never liked the MPs. They're part of the reason my parents can't really do anything out in public." She sighed. "Yet they seem to think they deserve all the praise while we risk our lives to make progress. This whole system is bullshit." She glanced out at the flying cadets.

"It is indeed. That's why they hate us: to make us look bad as we do work. Their hate masks their sloth." Jakob nodded. "It's ludicrous. It's insanity, yet no one else sees it. The king is corrupt too." He bit his lip. "Pure insanity."

"You're right." Lilly nodded. "But we can't really do anything about it. It is what it is. We can just continue fighting and let the MPs and the king continue as they are. So no need to fret."

"Unless they want to shut us down." Jakob's voice dropped down to a whisper. "When I've visited Sina I heard rumors of the MPs figuring out ways of shutting us down. I don't think they'll amount to anything, but..."

"But it's good to keep in mind." Lilly agreed. "But I feel like things are gonna take a downward spiral really soon..." She shook her head. "I don't know how, but I feel it... It's just... A shadow."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jakob nodded. "I know perfectly well what you mean..."

††††††††††††

Lilly was nervous, as it was finally the day of the mission. She had been training her ass off for the past few weeks to get ready. She now felt up to par with the newest members. But her nerves were terrible. She was terrified she'll fuck it up and fall off her horse, or get lost or left behind, or get her squad killed. She was a good fighter, she had accepted that by this point with Jakob's constant encouragement, but she also knew that she could just as easily be the reason people lose their lives. It was a lot for a 15 year old to dwell on.

"Ready, kiddo?" Hanji clapped a hand on Lilly's shoulder. "You're going to do well with Jakob. He's young, but he's a good soldier."

Lilly nodded. "I trust him. He's been taking good care of our squad... I know I haven't known him for long, but I trust him as leader. I really do." She hugged her mom, and then pulled away to strap on the last of her gear. "I'm just scared that I'll fuck everything up, y'know?" She met her mother's eyes, fear shining in hers.

"That's a common fear for the first mission." Hanji nodded and kissed Lilly's forehead. "But very rarely does it happen, especially since you're an Ackerman." She chuckled and then sighed as she heard Erwin calling for her. "Well, gotta go. Good luck!" She patted her shoulder before she walked to the command tent.

Lilly watched her mother go, then positively jumped out of her skin with a small shriek as Levi snuck up behind her and scared her. "Papa, ninja is _not_ what I need right now!" She turned and smacked his arm as he just smirked.

"You looked tense." He said matter-of-factly with a shrug. "And going into a mission tense is a bad idea. You make stupid mistakes."

"Scaring the shit out of me doesn't help." Lilly glared at him.

"Helped me." Levi quipped, ribbing her.

"Have you ever made a stupid mistake?" She raised a skeptical eyebrow, wanting to get back at him.

"Never." Levi chuckled and hugged his daughter. "Good luck, and trust your instincts. They're the best I've seen. You're smart and fast and sharp. Use your head as well as your instincts, though. Don't do stupid shit."

"I get it papa, geez." Lilly rolled her eyes but she took everything to heart. After all, this information could keep her and her squad from certain death.

"Now you need to use it." Levi flicked her in the head before he was off back at the command tent.

Lilly returned to caring for her marvelous light grey stallion named Samson. He whinnied and nuzzled her, and she stroked his nose. "What a crazy place we live in, huh?" She said to him softly, before she saddled and mounted him. "Time to go."

Samson trotted over to the troupe of horses that was her squad, Jakob checking that everything was alright. "Hey Lilly!" He grinned as she came over. "Ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." She shrugged.

Soon enough they were waiting for Erwin's command on heading out. She shifted in her saddle, nerves tingling. As the order was given and the gates raised, the Scout Regiment flooded through, spreading out into their formation as they reached the open space. Lilly caught her breath at the sight, the familiar sight of the Maria grasslands, now teeming with Titans. She didn't see any yet, but the idea burned in her mind.

"This way!" Jakob jerked his head to their point on the rim. His squad followed, Lilly's eyes and ears open for any sound of Titans.

An hour or so passed with no problem for their little squad, but soon enough her keen ears picked up the heavy footsteps of a Titan. Lilly listened to the gait, and pulled out her flare.

"Jakob there's an abnormal approaching!" She nodded to her squad leader, the Titan soon appearing as it ran towards the center of the convoy. It was 12 meters tall.

"Fire the flare and get ready for combat!" He ordered, and black smoke streaked through the sky. Then he angled his chestnut mare towards the Titan and started off, taking the grips from the holsters on his belt, and drawing blades. Lilly followed suit, as did the other two members, both boys, Stephan and James. The Titan was soon within attacking range.

Lilly was the first to move, using her spinning slash on the legs to get it on the ground and unable to run. She severed the ankle, cutting the feet clean off. It crashed to the ground and James dealt the fatal blow, a plume of blood marking his slice.

Lilly mounted Samson as he trotted up and smiled at James. "Nice work!"

"Thank, but if you hadn't gotten it down it would have been much more difficult." James's emerald green eyes reflected his gratitude.

Jakob regathered them and they got back into formation. Once again they rode on in relative peace. Lilly knew right then that something was going to go wrong. Very rarely was there peace like this without something brewing. She kept her ears on high alert as James and Stephan began chatting, relaxing as they reached the two hour mark since confrontation. She looked at Jakob and he nodded. He felt it too.

"There!" Lilly shot a red flare as she heard the Titans approach. It was like a stampede.

"What the hell?!" Jakob looked around at the sheer number that's closing in. "Did we kick the ant nest?" He wheeled his horse around and started riding to the only gap in the circle of Titans, Lilly right on his heel. Stephan and James followed, but James's horse hit a slick patch of mud and it stumbled. It wasn't much but it was enough.

James screamed as the hand clamped around him and his horse was crushed beneath the Titan's foot. He screamed again as he looked down the throat of the Titan. It was cut off with the snap of teeth and a spray of blood.

"JAMES!" Stephan cried, taking out his blades and launching himself at the Titan that ate his friend. He took it down, before dodging a hand and slaying another. Four remained, and the closest swiped at him. He dodged, before he was caught by its mouth.

"A small... calculation error..." He groaned a moment before he disappeared down its throat.

Lilly turned her head and rode on, side by side with Jakob. He fit in a yellow flare and shot it, trying to find another squad to meet up with as four Titans chased them. It would have been amusing to see them tripping over each other if it wasn't so goddamn terrifying. Lilly laughed in relief as she saw an answering yellow flare.

The pair rode as hard as they could to the other squad, and soon they saw the four horses on the horizon. The squad didn't even hesitate to engage the pursuing Titans, the leader nodding to Jakob, her steely hazel eyes set with determination. Jakob saluted in response and they kept riding away.

Lilly blinked, feeling a bit lightheaded, and she checked herself over. She just stared at the long cut on her arm, caused from shrapnel of James' gear when it was destroyed. She didn't even feel it in the mad adrenaline-filled rush to safety. But now that they were relatively safe the wave of pain hit her and she cried out, before pulling out her bandages and wrapping up the wound.

"You gonna be okay?" Jakob asked, angry at himself for not noticing sooner. Some leader he was.

"I'll live." Lilly nodded and then glanced back, her heart growing cold as she watched the squad leader of the other team get flattened by the remaining Titan, the rest of her team nothing more than red smears on the grass beside three disintegrating corpses.

"What the hell happened?" Lilly turned to her leader, the full force of what just occurred not registering yet.

"I don't know..." Jakob watched as the last Titan seemed to run, then it seemed to sense the two very edible humans in front of it. "Go. Split up." He ordered as it began running, praying it'll go after him as he veers to the right, Lilly going left.

She heard the thundering steps and looked back, her heart stopping in terror as it picked her as its target. She rode as fast as she can, but she must have taken a wrong turn. Samson's hoof struck something and she was thrown from his back, landing hard and rolling as he bolted, spooked. Her gear detached just as it was supposed to, and Lilly landed in a heap, arm bleeding worse and a gash now on her head dripping blood into her eyes. She blearily looked up through the cracked lens of her goggles. There was a smashing sound and Lilly saw the broken remains of her 3DMG fall from the bottom of the Titan's foot.

 _I'm sorry mama and papa... I'm sorry Heike... I'm sorry Eren..._ She closed her eyes as its hand closed around her, a tear rolling down her cheek.

 **I'll get chapter seven up as soon as I can... Or as soon as I get to working on it. And as a request, if you leave a review, please don't put "update soon!" or "write more!". Those don't really help much. Thanks.**


	8. Author's Note 2

**I am so so so sorry for lack of updates! I'm facing major writer's block. Like, even if I sit and try it's just... Nothing. But I'll keep working on it. Fair warning it might not be as long as the others. In fact I'd be surprised if it is... But so far it's pretty good. Again, sorry, I love you all and thank you for your support!**


	9. 7: Check-Ups and Check-Ins

**FINALLY DONE WITH THIS FUCKING CHAPTER! I'm so sorry for the wait. Was in a funk. Luckily a weeklong trip with little to no cell service and/or wifi will motivate a person! SHOUTOUT to Fantastic1993 for her awesome help!**

 **And another note for reviews: PLEASE don't just put "write more", as that doesn't help me improve in the slightest, as I will write more, it just might be a while. I appreciate he feedback, just give me examples of what you like and don't like, thank you.**

 **i don't own Attack on Titan or any canon characters.**

 **Rose-Maria Grasslands, Year 847**

Thunder. It was everywhere as Lilly took strained breaths, heat surrounding her as the pressure on her body grew tighter and tighter. She must have taken the wrong turn. She flinched as a low growl sounds in her ears and the girl looked up, her slow mind, getting slower from blood loss, took in the Titan's rank breath and she accepted it was the end. _I'm sorry mama and papa... I'm sorry Heike... I'm sorry Eren..._ She sniffed, her eyes closing as that hand raised higher towards the gaping jaws of her killer, a tear rolling down her cheek to clean through the grime and blood, falling to the ground below.

Only this was not the end just yet.

Lilly's eyes jolted open as she fell, a spray of blood flying through the air. But it wasn't her blood this time. Her vision swam, but she managed to make out the shape of Jakob flying around and slashing the nape, the Titan falling, slain. Then the world went dark.

††††††††††††

Jakob picked up the unconscious, bleeding form of Lilly and whistled, both his horse and

Samson trotting to him. The grey stallion was his clue that something was horribly wrong, and that's what pulled him back. And thank the Walls he did.

He put Lilly in front of him on his horse, tying Samson's reins to Jakob's horse's saddle, and he wrapped her cloak around her as tight as he could as he rode to the center of the formation, to help staunch the bleeding.

"Please please please! Stay with me Lilly!" He begged whatever gods existed. He sighed, knowing that very few prayers on the plains were ever heard or answered. He pulled out her flare gun... if he could not signal the gods, then her parents seemed like a decent plan B. He fired the blue canister and waited for the response, hoping Hanji or Moblit would see the color. Lilly needed medical attention, and fast.

††††††††††††

Hanji was riding beside Levi and Erwin, in the command squad, when she saw the column of blue smoke.

She had moved her squad to the center after hearing from a messenger that the section where Lilly was had been overrun by Titans. She gripped Levi's arm.

"Levi!" She pointed to the line of dark blue against the azure sky, her heart skipping a beat as she saw it. She didn't want to think what it could mean.

The pair was off like lightning, leaving Erwin in the dust. The blond just watched them, is heart in his mouth. He prayed desperately to the walls she'd be okay.

They met Jakob as he was tearing toward them. He slowed and swallowed. "She... She needs serious help..." He looked at the small, bleeding form of Lilly Zoe-Ackerman.

Hanji instantly took her daughter onto her horse, unwrapping the cloak and then looking at her husband, panic and fear in her eyes as she saw just how bad off Lilly was. "Dammit... Levi! I need somewhere stable to work with her! The horse moves too much that it'll just make things worse if I try to tend to her here. She needs immediate treatment."

Levi gritted his teeth and rode ahead to get a wagon. He nearly tore past Erwin, be he slowed down to fill him in. "We need a wagon. Lilly's badly hurt and Hanji needs a place to work. Are there any nearby?"

Erwin was silent for a moment before he remembered where one would be. "Go straight forward and you'll hit the front convoy. They should have a spare wagon... Hopefully. I don't know how many bodies we'll have this time. If we're fortunate and there aren't too many, providing a free wagon." He nodded.

"You talk too much sometimes." Levi shook his head in a friendly manner to his comrade, then he was off like a shot, riding hard straight to the dead center of the formation. That's where the convoy would be. That's where he can save his daughter.

He came to the convoy and he went immediately for the only open wagon, to which he barked some orders at the driver. The man scrambled off the horse and then was left in the dust as Levi mounted the steed he just vacated and started off at a gallop, the poor driver left dumbfounded, holding the reins of Levi's horse. He rode to where he guessed they would have proceeded to had they kept going, but he saw something distantly that made him change course.

He arrived to see Hanji on the ground with Lilly, rapidly applying compressions. His heart dropped and turned icy cold. "Shit. Hanji!" He swallowed and went to his wife and daughter's side. As she was applying compressions he pinched Lilly's nose and breathed air into her lungs, noticing the amount of blood by his daughter. It made him feel even colder.

Erwin paced back and forth while the Zoe-Ackerman's tried to save their daughter, not wanting to abandon the pair in their panic, as they wouldn't notice any Titans approaching. He felt the guilt sharply, knowing that if she died he'd never forgive himself. _Please please please spare her..._ He begged silently. He knew this thought was selfish, but he couldn't help it. He viewed Lilly as his own daughter half the time, and seeing her so frail reminded him of the time he had taken care of her while she was quite ill when she was a child. It broke his heart to see her reduced to that low of a state.

Hanji moved Lilly onto the cart, and she resumed her work there while Levi directed the cart to the exterior base. After the adults thought they would go mad with the tension, Lilly coughed, and Hanji checked her heartbeat. It was still fluttery, but slowly improving. "Her heart's stronger... She's gonna be okay..." She sniffed, before the tears started streaming down her face in pure relief, Levi actually letting out a chuckle. "S-she's gonna m-make it." Hanji continued. By that point, all Lilly's wounds had been dressed and treated carefully by Jakob. She had stopped bleeding, as far Hanji knew.

Jakob folded his cloak to use as a pillow, Erwin taking her bloody one. They made sure she was comfortable as they continued in the wagon, Erwin having sent up the flare that the mission is to reroute to the exterior base. Then it would be time to count the dead so far, to add corpses to the mountain beneath his feet. Little did he know how much it would grow in the coming years.

The ride to the base wasn't difficult: it was fairly clear of Titans. That easy ride felt like it would never end to the married couple in the wagon. Hanji wouldn't stop checking Lilly's injuries. She wanted to make sure her daughter was truly going to make it, and that her condition wouldn't get worse, as there could be some internal bleeding she missed. Levi grit his teeth as he hears the wagon creaking behind him as Hanji kept shifting. He would have rode beside Erwin, as he normally did, but with his luck, that would be the moment when Lilly needed her father most.

Soon enough they passed the river that's the marking point of the base. Levi let out a sigh of relief. Now Lilly could be really checked over. Hanji did what she could in the wagon, but now she can really focus on her, not having to keep one eye out for Titans, as well as take advantage of her assistant Moblit's medical knowledge, which surpassed her own. She picked up Lilly wrapped in the cloaks and carried her inside, going to the infirmary immediately, Moblit falling into step beside her.

"Squad leader it's going to be okay. I'll take care of her." He promised, taking Lilly from Hanji and laying her down. He had Hanji sit outside the room, knowing that she was a good medic, but she was also heavily emotionally compromised.

Moblit checked Lilly over, looking for any issues Hanji may have missed while tending to her on the cart. Everything looked alright... for the most part. He diagnosed that she had two broken ribs, another fractured, and her arm needed to be operated on to remove what appeared to be shrapnel from broken 3DMG. Not to mention she had a cut on her head from blunt-force trauma caused by hitting the hard, dry earth. She had lost a lot of blood already, but the bandaging helped keep it under control.

Moblit called over a couple of the other remaining medical officers, informing Hanji as well as to what's going on, and they scrubbed up as best they can in the grungy base. They spread a special numbing cream Hanji devised over the arm and started to remove the shrapnel. Lilly flinched and whimpered in pain, but her unconscious state made it a little more manageable, along with the cream. But upon waking up the wound will hurt like fucking hell.

Hanji was pacing outside the room while her daughter was operated on. She glanced up as Levi came hurrying over, looking worried. The lines on his face were deeper, and he appeared to have aged at least five years just in the last half hour since she saw him last.

"How is she?" He asked, well, it was more of a demand. He went to his wife's side and she shook her head. She didn't know how well Lilly was doing.

"I... I don't know... I think Moblit said he's operating on her... Like she had some shrapnel in her arm or something..." Hanji shook her head again, trembling a little. Their baby girl, alive by a miracle. She nuzzled into Levi's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. Nothing was easy for the Zoe-Ackermans, and it seemed like nothing would be as well. They were both nervous and scared for different reasons. Levi felt utterly useless as he always had something to do with Lilly, be it fixing a small issue, training, or even scaring monsters from under the bed when she was little. Now he could do nothing but hope for the best and hold Hanji close. Hanji, meanwhile, with all her medical knowledge and prowess, couldn't treat her daughter. Lilly was behind that door, and Hanji could do nothing to save her.

After what seemed like hours, Moblit opened the door and let the couple in. Levi and Hanji rushed into the room and went to Lilly's side. She looked fine for the most part, save the heavy bandaging on her arm, head, and across her chest for her broken ribs. She was also quite pale. Hanji swallowed and looked at Moblit. "Is she gonna be alright?"

Moblit smiled. "Yeah, and she should be well enough to return to the training camp in a couple weeks. I'll write to Shadis telling him she can't do anything super physical yet... But I think she'll want to see her friends again. After she's back, assuming everything goes well, she should be back to normal a month after." He saluted his two superiors before he left to look over the other patients that the nurses took care of.

The night passed slowly for the couple, one always at Lilly's side while the other left to either check on the cadets or to help keep them in line and to plan with Erwin. Neither of them slept that night. Just as dawn broke over the fortress, long abandoned by man and now used by the Scouts for a poor refuge, Lilly woke. She blinked slowly, pain lancing through her arm as she tried to push herself up. Instantly Levi was awake and he cupped her cheeks.

"P-papa... Where are we?" She blinked and looked around, buy everything was fuzzy. Hanji had removed her broken glasses and now the world was a blur.

"This is the exterior base, a little safe haven. We came here while you slept." Levi informed her softly.

She nodded, shifting and groaning as she felt that pain again. "Ow... Why does it hurt? What's my condition?" She swallowed, a little scared of the answer.

"You had a bad head wound, several broken or fractured ribs, as well as an injured arm. You need to heal. I bet we'll be setting off soon, but... Shit I don't know..." He shook his head.

He and Erwin had spoken about either turning back after they counted the dead and wounded, or continue on despite the casualties. They hadn't made a decision yet and it was on Erwin. The amount of healthy versus otherwise was just about even. The choice was a hard one. Levi's worried about what would happen to Lilly if they moved on. She certainly couldn't go along with them.

But there was one big reason Levi hoped they'd turn back. This base was all too familiar to him. It's where they had stopped years ago the night before a bad storm... the night before he lost Farlan and Isabel. He knew that if they had turned back then, those two would likely still be with him, being a fun aunt and uncle for Lilly. He ran a hand through that hair so like his as he contemplated what might have been.

"What's going on in that head of yours, papa?"Lilly asked, moving with only minimal noises of pain, having learned to work through it. She was an Ackerman, after all. She covered one of her father's hands with hers. "And papa, I'll be okay if you have to leave me behind. I know you don't want me to get any worse." She coughed as her ribs protested to just a little too big of a breath. "I'm strong papa." She gave him a reassuring smile and he sighed.

"You look just like your mother when you smile like that." He smiled softly, just for her. "I'm just thinking about the last time I was here. It was when I lost my two very close friends before I knew your mother... It's been very tough emotionally for me." Levi swallowed as he felt the emotion rising, and Lilly just squeezed his hand comfortingly. He started as he heard footsteps and looked up. Grey eyes met brown as Hanji came back with some coffee. He took his with a murmured word of thanks.

"Hey kiddo." Hanji smiled as she brushed some hair from Lilly's face. "Glad to see you up. We were worried about ya. Good thing Moblit was on the job." She chuckled.

Lilly smiled at her mother's laughter and leaned into her touch. "He's a good medic, mama. I'm glad you picked him as a helper. Not to mention he's hilarious when drunk." She snickered. She did genuinely like Moblit, though.

"That's true as well. Unfortunately it's usually my fault he gets drunk in the first place." Hanji just laughed more. "He can't keep up with me and my crazy experiments." She kissed Lilly's forehead. She was so happy to see her daughter doing well after being brought back from the brink.

Lilly smiled and looked between her parents. "Thank you... And I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough..." She swallowed, before her eyes widened and she gripped the side of the bed tightly. Everything came rushing back as she said that. Her squad. Her squad was attacked... Stephan and James... Oh god... She took the bin her mother gave her, seeing her pallid complexion, and she vomited into it. Her body shook with the force of it, but most of what came up was bile, having not eaten anything since before the mission. She wretched a little then set the bin down, shuddering. "M-My squad... And the one who assisted us..."

Hanji and Levi had comforted and held her hair back. The latter sighed and spoke. "I'm sorry about James and Stephan, Lilly... But Jakob is still doing well. He helped save your life. He brought you to us." He ran a hand through Lilly's black hair.

"G-good... Oh god I'm so sorry..." She sniffed, tears starting to form then fall. She wasn't apologizing to her parents anymore. She was apologizing to those who died. To those who weren't able to be saved. She swallowed down the need to vomit again, but as her parents hugged her she clung to them.

Erwin came in a little while later. "We're turning back. We can't afford any more casualties by pressing forward." He didn't let his two closest comrades see the shame in his expression, the guilt, but Levi and Hanji knew it was there. Levi nodded and moved from his daughter's side.

"Okay. Let's get ready to turn back then." He left with Erwin and they organized everything to go back to the walls in disgrace. They hated doing it, but Lilly understood why they needed too. Why sacrifice more lives and leave the wounded behind to possibly be attacked while the healthy was gone?

††††††††††††

The ride back was somewhat uneventful, the Titan count still down from the trip to the fortress. There were few casualties, but that was still more than what Erwin wanted. He fired the flare as they approached and the gate was raised. It wasn't even ten minutes after they entered the gates that the usual hate-filled whispers began. Whispers of wasting tax money if all that money was going toward was dead sons and daughters.

Lilly could barely stand it, but she knew she couldn't do anything to prevent it. So she was forced to grit her teeth and bear it in silence. She knew her father always did just that. She could see the anger and hate boiling in his eyes from here at the ignorant whispers of the shit-for-brains that often crowded the streets. But something she didn't expect were the thrown rocks and screams of hate towards Erwin, whom she never had blamed for tragedy. He didn't react to them, though, even when a rock caught the side of his head, staining his golden hair red. She grit her teeth and acted like it didn't happen, feeling guilty as she did so. She didn't relax until they were back at the HQ, where the civilians couldn't go; where they were safe.

She got out of the wagon and made her way over to Erwin, who was still in business mode, doing a hundred things at once, and she could see the guilt weighing on him. She tapped his arm and he didn't react until she did it again, harder. He looked at her with guilt-filled eyes, trying to apologize for what happened to her, but she shook her head at the look. "Uncle Erwin, your head needs to be bound. Can I? Please?" she asked, sounding smaller than usual thanks to her ongoing guilt and the shame of not making it back successfully. It stung her pride to know she might not have been ready.

At first the Commander had fully intended to refuse, the rush her away to a recovery bed and continue on till as usual he ran out of steam and passed out in his own room. But those eyes. Those bright eyes he had been so worried would never open again, in that moment he couldn't refuse her request and he nodded, allowing the injured young woman to lead him where she could tend to him. She sat him in a chair where she could wrap his head with some bandages she picked up on her way to see him. She sighed as she cleaned the wound of the blood. "This isn't your fault. Don't feel guilty because you can't predict every goddamn scenario out there, uncle."

He let out a soft chuckle, hissing as she touched a tender spot. "You're oddly wise for your age... And rather like Levi." He commented.

"Well I've grown up quick, a family trait according to papa." she smirked, noting the guilt there in his blue eyes still. Yes it had been on his command that her parents had regularly needed to leave her alone, but Lilly just sighed and shook her head at him. "It's part of the job, so quit giving me that look." Her tongue stuck out from between her teeth as she cleaned a deeper part of the wound, causing Erwin to flinch a little. She caught him looking at a group of wounded soldiers walking past, and she tapped his cheek to get his attention. "We all have guilt. You know we do. Those of us that want to fight, always lose at some point, and we go ahead and blame ourselves for that. When Maria fell I took up some blades and fought back... like I was taught and raised to. But... but I wasn't quick enough, but you tell me I can't be blamed for the losses right? It's the Titans. That's what you always said to me. It's the Titan's doing."

"You're making me feel like such a hypocrite-" he flinched again as another tender spot was dealt with. In all honesty Lilly nearly giggled as she scolded her uncle, such an imposing man, and yet underneath that furrowed brow and stern lip he was as caring as any other. Perhaps more so. A sigh escaped her.

"I don't mean to... Just trying to distract my overthinking, worrywart uncle. I, um... I'll be heading back to training soon right? I'm looking forward to seeing my friends but... I won't be training for a while will I?" she finished wrapping.

"Thank you. And no, I don't think you will. Not for a few weeks at least. You need to rest and recover... Both physically and emotionally." He gave Lilly a grave look. "I understand you lost a couple squad members, as well as was nearly killed yourself. You may feel fine now, but that's not something someone your age will instantly recover from. But I hope you feel like you could talk to me about it, despite it being my doing they were lost in the first place." He felt terrible with this reality check, but he wanted her to know that he's there to help.

Lilly swallowed. She knew most of what Erwin said was true. But she frowned as he blamed himself again. "Didn't you just hear me? I said it wasn't your fault." She flicked his forehead rather like how her father did with her, pulling a chuckle from him. It's obvious to those who watched that Lilly and Erwin were rather close, and that Erwin took his role as uncle to heart. "So please... I know it's hard but don't blame yourself for everything, and try dodging the rocks next time? I won't always be here to patch you up and have a deep, philosophical conversation with you. You might get stuck with mama's care some time." She grinned as he chuckled.

"You're right. Thank you Lilly. And again, please feel free to talk to me if you feel like you can't talk to you parents, for whatever reason." He stood, kissed her on the forehead, before he left, back in business mode but his heart felt lighter.

††††††††††††

Eren was gritting his teeth at the hate-filled whispers as his heroes passed through town. Every time, just like in Shiganshina, he stood at the streets watching them enter the town. One thing he wasn't intending on seeing was Lilly in a wagon, bandaged up. His first thought is that he didn't know she graduated, and was hurt she didn't say hi before she joined the Scouts. Then he mentally kicked himself. Of course she's still a cadet. It had been two years since she joined the training corps, but the cadets didn't graduate until early summer. Her parents must've managed to get her out of the training corps to go on a mission.

"D'you think she's okay?" He asked Armin, who stood beside him. Armin frowned, not seeing Lilly yet. "Lilly, do you think she's okay?" He repeated to Armin's confused look.

"Where...?" Armin frowned, then his eyes widened a little as he found her. "W-Well she doesn't look too bad... Looks like a head wound, an arm wound, and maybe a couple broken ribs. She looks like she'll get better in a couple weeks." His quick mind took in the bandages, and while he had no medical knowledge, he just figured it wouldn't take too long for her to heal. "So yeah, she'll be okay... Wonder what happened?"

"I dunno. We could always try to catch up to them and ask!" Eren started to dart after the Scouts, but Mikasa grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Eren that's a dumb idea." She admonished in her flat voice. "They could hurt or even kill you."

"But why would they? I'll just tell them I'm friends with Lilly! I want to see how she is!" Eren replied hotly.

"They worst they could do is refuse. It's not like their HQ is top secret here in Trost." Armin pointed out, wanting to see his friend too.

Mikasa just sighed and gave up. She let Eren's shirt go and within moments he was running to the HQ. He got up to the gate and was stopped by a Scout. "What's your business here, kid?" He demanded.

"I'm here... to see a friend..." Eren panted, soon catching his breath. "Her name is Lilly Zoe-Ackerman. She just got in?" He bit his lip, hoping he'd be able to see his close friend.

"I'm sorry, but we're not letting anyone visit." The Scout shook his head. "We have wounded to be tending to and we don't want to run risk of infection. Surely you can understand." He gave Eren a sorry look.

"Yeah... Yeah fine..." Eren angrily looked at the dirt. Yes he understood, knowing that it's not easy to get clean, and that just being around open wounds could lead to infection. That was common with the refugees within Wall Rose. Too many dirty people in an area and even the smallest cuts could get badly infected.

"I'm sorry. Come back in a few days and things should be healed over enough it'll be safe." The Scout suggested, and Eren nodded before he left, still angry. Armin heard the last bit and he patted his friend's shoulder.

"Hey, all we have to do is wait a bit and we'll be able to see her again!" The small blond tried to be optimistic.

"I know... But she might already be gone by then..." Eren shook his head, frustrated.

"Well, she has to pass through the rest of Trost so we could catch her before she goes through the gate. It won't be that difficult." Armin countered. That suggestion cheered Eren up and he nodded, excited for the chance to see Lilly again.

 **UGH there it is hope you all like it. Sorry for the long wait. And the next chapter may take a while too as I'll be off to college soon. I'm so sorry about that. Wish it was more regular but hopefully I'll get a start on the next!**

 **Now for more shoutouts:**

 **Again, thanks to Frantastic for all the help she's given me. I can't thank you enough.**

 **To SkwidInk I'm glad I converted you to the Levihan and tadaaaa! She doesn't have any magical shifting powers, just awesome friends and family.**

 **Finally to WithoutAnimeLifeIsPrettyShitty (damn your name is long), thanks for your review and support!**


	10. 8: Recovering Pride

**Yo! Sorry it's been so long. College started for me so I haven't had as much time to write... nor as much motivation. But I have a plan for the next chapter, so I'll get started on that right away. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Trost, Wall Rose, Year 847**

"LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS!" Keith Shadis shouted at the 98 trainees left of the original 108. Twenty didn't finish training; fifteen dropped out and five were killed in unfortunate accidents. "TODAY is GRADUATION! The ten soldiers you see before you are the top ten, meaning THEY DIDN'T FUCK UP AS MUCH AS THE REST OF YOU!" He stood before them on a small wooden platform.

Lilly sighed internally at the screaming, standing to the far right: number one. She was the top of the class, not that anyone expected any different. She stayed average until the time came for assessments, and when they did, it was like she was a whole new cadet. She soared above everyone else, both literally and figuratively. She did her parents proud.

It was a few months after the mission, and Lilly was fully recovered… or appeared to be. She took a month from training for her ribs to recover. Then she was physically okay. Mentally… well, mentally she still had some troubles. This was where Ari and Heike had done the most for her. She swallowed as the memory came back of one particularly bad night…

 _Lilly wasn't sleeping well… It was a week after she got back and she still had nightmares. She jolted up from a particularly bad one and looked around with some confusion, not entirely sure where she was. As she saw the bunks she relaxed, remembering that she's back at training… she's safe… She got up from her bunk and staggered outside, needing some air to breathe… She coughed and looked at the bright moonlight, a chilly wind causing her to shiver._

" _Come on, get a fucking grip!" She rubbed her temples, collapsing against the side of the bunks, lacking the energy to move any farther._

 _She wasn't sure how long she was there before she heard the door open, and felt two sets of arms around her. She opened her eyes and saw her two blonde friends. "You… you should be in bed…"  
"As should you." Heike shook her head. "But we saw you leave so we had to come help you." She nodded._

" _Besides, it's pretty clear you can't do this on your own." Ari tapped her friend's nose. "This is the third nightmare since you came back. Let us help you."_

 _Lilly looked between her two closest friends and nodded. "I will… Sorry…" She nuzzled them slightly, dropping off to sleep again a moment later, exhausted by all her missed sleep. Ari rolled her eyes and picked up the small girl, her weight not a problem, and took her back to bed._

Since then Lilly had talked to her friends a lot more, which really led to how she stood in the number one spot. She couldn't have done it without them, and she's very grateful…

If only they knew how much she's still plagued by ghosts.

Also in that time, she exchanged a few letters with Eren and Armin, assuring them that not too much longer and they'll be in the military too. In fact, just one month after her own graduation and the next training corp will be brought in. That month was for cleaning and prepping for the next group. It was a continuous entity. Lilly was happy for her friends and hoped they succeeded.

"Oh she's grown up so fast!" Hanji was in the group of civilians Shadis allowed in to see the ceremony, if it could be called that.

Hanji, Levi, and Moblit were there, the latter as sort of a representative of Erwin, and the fact Lilly really enjoyed his company. They weren't wearing their uniforms, wanting to blend in, but Erwin wasn't able to make it, mostly because, uniform or not, he'd be recognized and no one wanted hate to be thrown at him from all sides during Lilly's big day. So he remained at the base.

"Yeah she has." Levi gave a small smile as he watched his daughter give a magnificent salute. He held a letter in his pocket from Erwin for Shadis, to be given immediately after the ceremony, granting Lilly direct access into the Scouts that afternoon, instead of waiting for the recruitment drive that night and moving in the following day. He wrinkled his nose as Shadis spoke of, or, rather, shouted about the option of the ten going to join the Military Police. _Fat chance_ , he thought with derision.

"What do you think, Moblit?" Hanji ribbed her assistant, but then she frowned as he didn't respond. "Oi! Earth to Moblit!" As he still didn't notice, she followed his gaze to the young woman to Lilly's left in the number two position, noting the girl's graceful disposition, sand blonde hair, and those sky blue eyes: Arianna Storme. Hanji had never seen love at first sight before, but she was certain this thunderbolt moment was it.

"He's gone." Levi shook his head. "Well, guess I owe Erwin some money... Bet he'd never find a girl, all the way back when you first took him in." He grumbled, causing Hanji to have to cover her mouth to keep from snorting with laughter.

The ceremony was soon over, all the cadets giving a final salute. Levi pushed his way through the crowd to give the message to Shadis. Lilly stood in her position until dismissed, but as no order was given and she saw her father she ran to him. "Papa!" She called, Levi giving the letter to Shadis, the man nodding, before he turned and hugged his daughter.

"Hey brat." He ruffled her hair and flicked her forehead. "Top of the class, eh? Not that I expected any less." He shook his head. "Congrats."

"Thanks pap- AGH!" Lilly gave a startled yelp as she was suddenly hugged by Hanji. "Mama... Oxygen..." Lilly gasped, chuckling.

"Oops! Sorry!" Hanji loosened her hug, beaming, every bit the proud mother. "Congrats kiddo! Top of the class... Naturally you could go to the MPs..."

"We wouldn't hate you too much if you did." Levi gave a subtle wink. "So choose carefully."

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Papa you know what I'm picking... I think I'd be able to fully recover there..." She swallowed, still having nightmares from that mission. She then winced as she admitted she wasn't totally okay. "I mean... Shit..."

Hanji frowned and put her hand on Lilly's shoulder. "You're... You mean you're not fully recovered from the mission?" It worried her that she hadn't known about this sooner… but now as she looked at her daughter she could see the signs of sleepless nights and the thinness of not eating right… Dammit, how had she missed it until now? And Lilly's smile as she left the wall on her first real mission, her joy, would she ever see that again? Her frowned deepened as Lilly shrugged off her hand.

"I'm fine, mama." She said, obviously not wanting to talk about it.

Levi frowned, not liking this response, but he didn't push it. He knew this feeling well, as it was very similar when he himself shrugged off Hanji's helpful hand after the loss of Farlan and Isabel. As much as he wanted to argue, he would be a hypocrite if he did. "Lilly... Well, welcome to the Scouts. The commander said that you could move in now instead of waiting for tomorrow morning." He thought that would perk her up. It did.

"Really?! Oh that's _wonderful_! I'll go get my things!" With a flurry of movement, Lilly was off, getting ready to move into the Scout HQ officially.

Hanji chuckled as she watched her daughter run off. "She's certainly full of energy... But I thought she'd be better by now... Was it a mistake, taking her on that mission?" She swallowed and looked at Levi, worry clear in her brown eyes.

Levi shook his head. "No. It was a learning experience... And from her letters it seems like she's grown closer to her friends. And not to mention she now has experience out there... She'll get better in time." He nodded. "She's a strong girl. But… how had we not seen it sooner? How had we not seen she wasn't okay?" He glanced at Hanji, who shook her head. Both had failed to noticed, and had failed to help their daughter. Levi hoped that he would one day be able to make up for his inability to help. "I want her to be able to taste freedom again, without that sense of fear…"

††††††††††††

Lilly went to the bunks and she stretched. She was glad to be done, but she was also sad to go. She had made many memories in this camp, and that made the departing bittersweet. She grabbed her bag from the bunk and hoisted it over her shoulder.

She walked back to her parents, who were talking to Shadis about arrangements with Lilly. The girl stood back a bit, letting the adults talk. She grinned as Heike jogged over and gave her a hug.

"Suppose this is goodbye for a bit, eh?" The blonde chuckled. "You're going to the Scouts, aren'cha?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but it'll just be until tomorrow morning." Lilly shook her head and flicked Heike's nose. "So relax. It's not like I'm leaving you forever, and it's not like I needed the commander's speech to get me to sign up. I've been wanting to join the Scouts for as long as I can remember."

Heike laughs. "I know. Just let me tease you, god." She playfully shoved Lilly.

"You ready to go, brat?" Levi raised an eyebrow, glancing up as a giggly Moblit came over, holding hands with an equally giggly Ari.

"S-sorry sir! She was, ah, showing me around." He had a blush that made his cheeks a soft pink. "I'm all ready to go." He swallowed and dropped her hand.

"Good. Come on." Levi jerked his head to the cart and Lilly waved at her friends before she got in, Hanji sitting beside her, and Levi on her other side. Moblit put Lilly's pack in a storage bin, and then jumped into the wagon. With a snap of the reins, they were off.

††††††††††††

Lilly grinned as she saw the HQ. It was just like coming home, but a lot more, well, homey. She grabbed her pack from the bin and walked inside, going to her somewhat private room and setting her bag down. She starts to unpack, taking up half the space as she figured that Heike would end up sharing the room with her. Once she finished, she skipped on down to dinner, stomach growling. She was famished.

Hanji pulled her into a hug as she saw her daughter. "Oh I'm so proud of you!" She laughed and spun her around.

Lilly hugged back as much as she could, but her mother was much stronger than she looked, and the girl could only kind of pat her back as she was sure about three of her ribs would be bruised. Finally, Hanji put her down and Lilly inhaled with a small wince. "Please be gentle mama." She asked with a small chuckle.

"Oops sorry, my excitement got ahead of me." Hanji laughed and moved aside for Levi to give a small hug to his daughter.

"We need to talk about your involvement here with the Scouts." He said softly.

Lilly swallowed and nodded. "I... I know... I'm sorry I can't just make the nightmares go away. I'm sorry I'm letting you down…" She gave a small whimper and Levi just hugged her a little tighter, knowing the feeling perfectly, shaking his head with a sigh.

"I know. I deal with the same issue. Just ask your mother." He shook his head again. "So don't worry. The dreams will fade and they'll become nothing but a memory to learn by. But that's the important part: learning. Learn from what happened to make sure it doesn't happen again, or so you won't freeze up if it does." He kissed her forehead. "But that's enough deep shit. Come on, we have work to do." He turned on heel and strode off, Lilly following, the pair looking perfectly like father and daughter.

The pair started cleaning, getting everything in proper shape for the new recruits. Sure most of the work had already been done, but with the Ackermans nothing was too clean. As she worked, she sighed and looked out the window, mind wandering a little.

"You okay Lilly?" She jumped as she heard the voice of her uncle.

"Oh… Hi Erwin… Yeah I'm doing fine." She nodded to him. "Mind just wandering a little." She gave him a small smile. She rather he didn't know about… well, whatever is going on with her. That he didn't know about the nightmares. He has more important things to worry about as commander than her issues. "Thank you, sir."

Erwin sighed, hating when she used his title when they're alone. "You know you don't need to call me that. I get that it's more formal now, I guess, as you're a member of the Scouts now." He shrugged.

Lilly nodded. Seemed a good excuse to make if that's what he believed anyway. "Sorry, Erwin… Just don't want to make it seem like I get anywhere based on connections, you know?"  
He nodded. "Don't worry, your father and I will make sure they know that any promotions you may get will be based on skill alone." He smiled, then sighed as one of the other Squad Leaders called him over to help them plan something. "Duty calls. I'll see you later, then." He gave her a small wave before he walked away, leaving Lilly with her thoughts once more.

††††††††††††

Lilly was eagerly waiting outside for the wagon to arrive that had her friends in it. It had been only half a day since she last saw them, but she was curious as to how many actually joined the Scouts. She stood on her tiptoes and let out a whoop as she saw the wagon. Moblit must have heard her, because he was at her side, no doubt there to welcome Ari. Lilly chuckled as he came trotting up, happy her friend had such a thoughtful man looking after her.

It took a few minutes, but soon the wagon came into view. Lilly bounced on her heels, pushing her glasses up. She glanced behind her as she heard the door open and her parents and uncles walked out to meet the new cadets. When the wagon stopped and unloaded, Lilly grinned at the sight of the number of people getting off. It was unusually high, based on what she was sure was a fantastic speech last night, as well as a fire to take the walls back from the Titans. It's been two years since then and they're hungering to get Maria back.

Lilly could barely blink before Heike gave her a big hug tackle. The smaller girl gave a small cry before she went toppling to the dirt, Heike managing to keep herself from falling on top of her. "Heike!" Lilly stood and brushed herself off with a small scowl.

"Oh lighten up, toots. Seems like you've inherited that stick up your ass from your father too." Heike snorted.

"Really? Well, guess who just earned stable duty for the next week." Levi raised an eyebrow as he walked up behind the blonde, the blood draining from her face. Lilly meanwhile was laughing loudly.

"New record. You've been here for about two minutes and you already ha-"

"Same for you, young lady, for egging her on." Levi cut across Lilly, who gave him a stunned expression.

"I didn't do a damn thing!" She protested, then she realized her mistake.

"You just mouthed off to a superior, now get going." He shooed them away and Lilly turned with a huff. Levi really just wanted Heike to have a friend to clean with, as he knew of the bond between the two girls. Lilly talked of Heike often enough.

"Ari!" Moblit grinned as the blond stepped out of the carriage. Her face lit up as she saw Moblit and she hugged him tightly.

"I know it hasn't been long, but it's so good to see you again!" She chuckled and then quickly backed off as Levi raised an eyebrow. She didn't want to him to have a bad first impression of her.

"You two going to stand around all day or are you going to get work done? Berner you should know better. Go find Shitty Glasses. I'm sure she has some work or other for you." Levi dismissed the new couple. They saluted and ran off. "Give me a damn headache." He grumbled as they walked away.

He went back toward the HQ, passing the stables to see how Heike and Lilly were doing. He peeked in through the window and raising an eyebrow in surprise. The girls were actually cleaning while chatting away, Lilly explaining how life in the Scouts worked. Out of the corner of her eye, Lilly saw her father and blushed, but he gave her a small wink, to which promptly flipped him the bird, causing him to snort and walk away.

"You sure it's a good idea to give your father sass? He's got a pretty intimidating rep. I mean, he just gave his own daughter stable duty for a week." Heike looked a little wary. All the cadets knew of Levi Ackerman, of his fame. But Lilly just shook her head.

"Yeah, he has that reputation, but he's not a complete hardass all the time. And unlike what some of the rumors say, he certainly wouldn't hurt anyone for giving him some sass." Lilly shook her head. "Not to mention I'm the only one who can tease him besides my mother without him giving me a death threat." She giggled.

"Fair enough. Come on, lets finish up, I can smell the food and I'm starving." Heike laughed and the girls finished up and left for the mess hall, the dinner bell ringing loudly.

††††††††††††

Lilly stood in front of Erwin's desk, hands behind her back, and looking every bit the perfect soldier. She had been summoned by her uncle, him saying he had some special job for her. Erwin gestured for her to sit and she does so a little nervously. "Levi and Hanji told me that you're still not recovered from the last mission… Is this true?" He raised an eyebrow.

She honestly thought about lying… but as she looked at her uncle's blue eyes, she can't. Not when he's looking at her like that, with so much genuine worry and concern. "Yes sir." She swallowed, worried she might be taken off-duty. Did he really think she's so fragile? But then again, isn't she? She bit her lip nervously.

He sighed and nodded, worried that might be the case… it often was with new Scouts. "Very well… I'll have you help Shadis in training new recruits. I talked to your parents and they figured it'd be the best plan for now." He nodded.

"Y-Yes sir." Lilly couldn't help the lump that formed in her throat. Great. Back to training when she just graduated a couple days ago. Perfect… fucking useless… She must be dragging them down so much if they want to send her away so soon. She wasn't good enough. A million and one things ran through her head on all her shortcomings

Erwin saw her spirit fading and hoped that the next bit of news could cheer her up, a smile on the verge of breaking out. "I think I heard a certain Mr. Eren Jaeger is in the training corp. you'll be assisting… A friend from Shiganshina?" He raised an eyebrow, knowing full well that he was.

Lilly's head jerked up at the sound of the name. Could it really be him? She nodded. "Y-yeah he is. I haven't seen them since I joined training…"  
"Excellent. Shadis expects you there in two days." He nodded. "So don't get too comfortable." He chuckled, Lilly joining after a moment.

"Got it. Thank you, Uncle. I wish I could stay here with the family, but…" She bit her lip.

"I've clarified all that as well. I'll try to get you a couple days off every month to come here, and also the week of Levi and your birthday." He smiled at the way her brown eyes lit up.

"Thank you." She gave a small smile, before she went over and gave him a small hug. "And thank you for doing what you can to look after me… I'm not all that great at it." She pulled from the hug and cleared her throat. "Sorry… That wasn't really befitting of a soldier."

"You're welcome." Erwin smiled and nodded his head. "It's fine. I always enjoy hugs from my niece. You're dismissed… but if you want to stay and watch me do paperwork instead of going where your father can yell at you, that's fine too." He laughed, Lilly soon joining.

"Yes sir." She grinned and saluted, before she left the office and began packing, looking forward to what was laying ahead.

* * *

 **Well, there it is. As I said, I have a plan for the next chapter. I know a couple more people are following this, and don't forget to write reviews! And please have more to the review than just "write more". That's maddeningly unhelpful. And a small inquiry: If I wrote different sorts of fics, would you read them? I have ideas for a PotC one, a RWBY one, and an RvB one. Just looking for some feedback!**


	11. Author's Note 3

**Sorry I haven't been updating very much. To be honest, I feel like the only person reading this anymore is my beta. I know part of that comes from irregular updates, but I just can't write thinking that it'll just be forgotten. Not to mention all my writing recently has felt mediocre. I'm so very sorry for this. I'll try to force myself to work on it and get another chapter out.**


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